Tuning In

While I have been reading Katie’s story, Kisses from Katie, I have also been reading The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. Although vastly different, the books are strangely complementary to each other. The latter one, more a theological look at what it means to pursue God, and the other, a tangible testimony of a young woman doing just that in Uganda.

One of Tozer’s points is that God wants to reveal Himself to us. He wants us to seek after Him and to walk with Him in intimate relationship. Although we may not always be manifestly aware of His presence, He is always there with us. As Christians, we must develop and cultivate our spiritual receptors and awareness. In other words, we must tune in to God. He writes, “Let any man [or woman] turn to God in earnest, let him begin to exercise himself unto godliness, let him seek to develop his powers of spiritual receptivity by trust and obedience and humility, and the results will exceed anything he may have hoped in his leaner and weaker days” (41).

I think about Katie, and I see a young woman doing that, stepping out in trust and obedience, humbling serving the children in Uganda. I see her sincere desire to help and to leave the world she knew behind to choose God. I question her methods at times, just because I know my own pride and my own shortcomings and how easy it is for me to get off track. But what I find refreshing and reassuring is that we don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to have all the right answers or do all the right things. We need to seek God and trust Him, stepping out, even imperfectly, with obedience and trusting that He will honor that. And even more, He will use it to teach us and to grow us. He’ll reveal Himself in fresh ways as we tune in to His voice, as we cultivate those gifts of receptivity, as we become more and more aware of His presence on a daily basis.

Katie suggests in the book that it is easier for her to do that in Uganda, in a place free from much of the materialism and distractions of the States. It’s easier for her to trust in God when He is the clear source of daily provision and protection, the One who so clearly holds life & death in His hands. Is God the same in Uganda as here? Absolutely. But there, free from some of the distractions and “white noise”, she can perhaps see Him and hear Him with more clarity.

I had a similar experience when I went to Nicaragua. Something about being in a different culture and stepping outside my own comfort zone, I was more aware of His presence. I was more “tuned in” to what He had to show me. I’ve also sensed Him here, as I visit El Camino, a bilingual church plant serving the Hispanic community, or even at my own church in Sunday school or during quality prayer time. God is always nearby. He is here. He craves that intimacy and fellowship. As we seek Him, we tune into His presence, we “come to know Him more intimately and with deeper understanding, that the barriers of thought and feeling between the two are disappearing, and that father and [child] are becoming more closely united in mind and heart” (38). To me, that’s a beautiful picture of walking with God and seeking Him.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been caught up some “white noise,” feeling disconnected and even frustrated at times. I’ve been futilely going through the motions and yet craving that fresh revelation. Over the last couple of weeks, though, I have found myself earnestly seeking Him, stepping out in some small ways, but trusting Him anew. And each step I take, I become more and more aware of His presence. I find myself more and more drawn to Him in prayer and Bible study, more in tune with His heart and His will for my life. It’s a process. I love that Tozer points that out. This isn’t a once and done event, rather it is the journey of walking with God over time, of developing that trust and cultivating that intimacy, of learning from our mistakes and our missteps, of returning and renewing that faith, of stepping out once again in obedience.

I would love to hear your thoughts. How have you experienced God’s manifest presence? What is some of the “white noise” that keeps you from tuning in to Him? And what are some of your success stories, blocking out the noise to tune in and experience God in fresh and exciting ways?

Tozer, A.W. (reprinted 2009). The Pursuit of God. W_L_C. pp 36-41.

Choosing God, Recklessly

I was a little harsh on Katie, from Kisses on Katie, in my post the other day, perhaps a little unmerited. I don’t mean to disparage her efforts or what God is doing in her life and the lives of the children. How much better our world would be if each of us would take the call to get involved and love our neighbors in such real and practical ways!

I do like her, and as I mentioned, she reminds me somewhat of myself. I still have a lot of maturing to do when it comes to walking alongside others and not trying to do it all myself. And I certainly didn’t have those answers at 19.

What I am learning from her story is the beauty of a reckless abandon to God’s call, a willingness to not just step outside her comfort zone, but to give up one way of life to wholeheartedly pursue another. I appreciate that. I have moved several times. Even when I have found myself in unfamiliar places or new cities, it has still been relatively easy to integrate my life into my new surroundings. I don’t have to rethink who I am or what I am doing. I have ways to connect, to interact, to live my life, albeit with some adjustments, but still live my life the way I have always known it.

How different it must be to pick up and leave everything to live a completely different life, to go from the relative abundance of middle class life in America to a poverty-stricken area in Uganda, to be in a place where running water is a luxury and starvation is too much of a reality. How do you adjust to a life like that?

In the book, which I recommend if you haven’t read it, Katie talks about the poverty there and the healthcare needs. She also talks about returning to the States and what that adjustment was like, the juxtaposition of her two worlds and the internal struggle that resulted from that reality, how hard it was for her to reconcile the materialism of America and the need in Uganda. What she realized is that she had to choose where she belonged. She couldn’t keep a foot in each place; she couldn’t make both places her home.

I think God often places us in places where we have to choose. Katie references Matthew 6:24 – “No one can serve two masters. He will hate the one and love the other or love the one and hate the other.” I think, too, of when God tested Abraham – forced him to choose God or his son (Genesis 22). Abraham chose to obey God. Katie chose to obey God and return permanently to Uganda. Do I choose God? Would I choose God if He called me to give up everything I had or to go across the world? Would I choose God over a spouse, a job, family? Would I choose God if, like Job, I lost everything (Job 1-2)?

What do you think? Do you think God calls us to give up “good things” for Him? Is this reckless abandon to God or just reckless? How do you make sense of God calling some to give it all up and others seemingly called to live a content and comfortable life?

Lone Ranger Syndrome

As part of a discussion group at my church, I started reading the book Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis. It is Katie’s story of moving to Uganda after high school and ministering to the children there and adopting 14 of them herself. It is an incredible story of courage and ministry, meeting very real physical needs and loving these children with an extraordinary love. It is an amazing story of what God is doing in and through her.

As I was reading it, though, it really struck me that there is no talk (so far) of her working with a local church or another agency. She is there pretty much on her own. Parts of it sound like another “lone ranger” story or the “white savior” complex, as it is often referred to in foreign aid circles, a passionate and caring individual coming in and trying to save the world herself versus building long-term sustainable partnerships and collaborative efforts that can address multifaceted needs and complex issues.

I like Katie, though, probably because I see a lot of me in her. I realize how many times I let my passion and concern, my desire to jump in and do things, my sense of calling drive me to minister, to love, to hopefully make a difference in the world around me. And I don’t want to lose that. So many times, though, I do that without concern for those around me. I find myself wanting to do my own thing, wanting to make a name for myself, wanting to earn the respect of others, wanting to do good and noble things, but wanting to do them myself. Even when I talk about my calling, I can sometimes sounds as if I have an exclusive call from God or that I am the only one on God’s side. Cocky, isn’t it?

But I am learning how important it is to bring others along with me, to partner with others who are called to similar work, to realize I can’t do it all myself, I don’t need to, and that I can’t bear that burden alone. I am not the only one on God’s side, and if I’m not careful I can even end up on the wrong side, fighting Him instead of serving Him. I find myself cut off from those around me thinking I know what is best, what needs to be done, what is right and choose not to listen to dissenting voices. The work suffers, the impact is diminished, and the pride takes it tolls when I am a lone ranger working isolated and alone.

The work benefits, though, and the impact increases dramatically when I am a part of something greater than myself, when I am a part of a team, part of the a body united with a common purpose and effort. I can lay my pride down knowing it is no longer about me but about Him. And I am one among many who is useful to Him. I hear Him saying to me, “I didn’t create you to be a lone ranger” (Thank you, God, I don’t look good in masks.) “You need others on your team and they need you. Work with them to do the work that I have called all of you to do.”

I read the story of Elijah, an Old Testament prophet who struggled with this same thing (See 1 Kings 19). I’m so encouraged that God responds to Elijah’s pride and pity party with a fresh revelation of who He is, a new awareness of fellow servants, and a new partner in ministry. God doesn’t leave us alone. Even the Lone Rangerhad Tonto, and God is faithful to provide the partners we need in ministry and in life.