Living Expectantly

Hope. It’s a strange thing. We want it. We seek it. But we’re almost afraid to have it. We’re afraid to be disappointed, afraid the reality won’t live up to our expectations. Sometimes, we’re afraid to imagine that God has something for us, and that something might be good.

I wonder what went through Ruth’s mind throughout this story. What was she thinking when she chose to follow Naomi back to Bethlehem? What could she have hoped for there? A husband seemed like a far stretch. Maybe she went just resigned to a life with a bitter mother-in-law – maybe she thought that was all she deserved or maybe she felt it was just the lot given to her. That’s what she needed to do. It felt like the right thing regardless if it meant laying down all her hopes and dreams.

I wonder what went through her mind as she approached the threshing floor. Did she let herself hope at this point? Could she imagine that Boaz would want to marry her? Or did she just go to be obedient to her mother-in-law’s wishes? Was she again just doing what she had to do?

As this other close relative, the other potential kinsman-redeemer comes on the scene, was she hopeful that someone would want to marry her? Could she imagine things working out? Or was she just resigned to be part of the property negotiated away by business men?

As I look at Ruth’s story, and all these incidents along the way, I think she had to have seeds of hope – perhaps planted in Boaz’ willingness to provide, by his invitation to the table, by the rumors early on of God’s provision in the midst of famine. Without hope, these incidents just look like going through the motions of life, hanging on by a thread. Yet, how often do we find ourselves there? How often do we feel like we walked away from our hopes and dreams? That there is no hope left for us. I’ve been there. I’ve felt that opportunities have passed me by or I made wrong choices or my favorite – that just must not have been God’s will for my life. And so, I leave hope on the side of the road and plug along resigned to live a perfectly mediocre but far from abundant life in Christ.

Here’s the thing, though. Ruth didn’t have any idea of the story that God wanted to write in her life. She didn’t know what God was going to do, she didn’t know that she was going to end up in Boaz’ field or that Boaz would even notice her. She didn’t know if she was going to get married again or if she was going to have a child. She didn’t know if Naomi would ever get over her bitterness. She didn’t know what was in store for her. BUT she lived expectantly. She lived sensing that God was going to do something, that if God was truly coming to the aid of His people, then maybe just maybe He could come to her aid and Naomi’s aid. She stepped out in faith expecting good things to happen, expecting God to work.

I would have been terrified to go work in a stranger’s field alone as a foreigner – but she went expecting God to provide food for her there. She approached the threshing floor, approached Boaz, and went expectantly –boldly proposing to him and asking him to serve as her kinsman-redeemer. She didn’t go timidly and say oh, you probably don’t want to marry me, a foreigner; you’ll be jeopardizing everything. She went expecting great things, realizing Boaz was a man of character, a man who echoed God’s provision and His care for His people. And she was bold enough to hope that she could be included in that promise and provision.

I think sometimes we have a hard time believing and living expectantly in Christ. We have a hard time allowing ourselves to hope that God has good things in store for us. And yet scripture tells us over and over that He is our Father, who takes delight in giving good gifts to His children.

“Which of you, if his son ask for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him?” (Matthew 7: 9-11)

(In the midst of captivity and judgment) “For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

(During suffering and persecution) “And the God of all grace, who called you into eternal glory in Christ Jesus, after you have suffered for a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.” (1 Peter 5:10)

“And we know that in all things (even heartache, loss, famine) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No! In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.” (Romans 8:35-39)

With these promises in our hearts and in our minds, we don’t have to leave hope on the side of the street. We can live expectantly – not knowing exactly how God is going to work, what He has in store for us in our lives, but we can know He is at work, He loves us, and His plans for us are for GOOD. When we can trust in His goodness for our lives, we can live boldly and expectantly, waiting to see how the story will unfold. It doesn’t mean the happy ending will look just as we imagined it, or that it will come when we want it to or in the way we expect. It may mean that it takes hard work and persistence on our part or walking through incredibly tough times, just as it did for Ruth. But He is able and He is willing to work on our behalf, on behalf of those who love Him and walk with Him. “…[He] is able and willing to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20). Now that gives me hope!

Confessions of a Non-Flosser

This post is a reprint from a series of reflections leading up to my 2010 trip to Nicaragua. I have found myself revisiting it as I continue to ask God to give me the desire to do the things that I need to do. After studying Romans 7, I realize that even when my heart is in the right place, the struggles continue. I need God's grace in moments of weakness and His power to change my heart and my mind.

Ok. I admit it. I don’t floss. I went to the dentist several weeks ago and was once again reminded that I NEED to floss. I WANT to take care of my teeth. I take care to use the right toothbrush, brush for 2-3 minutes, use the right mouthwash and in most other respects take very good care of my teeth and gums. But I just don’t like flossing. It doesn’t seem natural to me. It takes a long time, particularly trying to reach in between those back teeth; it’s uncomfortable wrapping the floss around my fingers; and then of course there is the saliva, which just makes it icky to mess around in my mouth too long. Oh, I know there are solutions that can help. Honestly, though, I want to take care of my teeth, but I just really don’t want to floss. I am sure that if I made up my mind to do it, I would find a way to make it less uncomfortable and maybe even a little more joyful, but flossing is not something I have a burning desire to add to my morning or evening routine.

Sometimes there are other things that are like flossing to me. There are things that I know I need to do. God’s directives are sometimes very clear to me, and yet, I don’t want to do them. I don’t even want to want to do them. Some of His commands just don’t seem natural to me. They make me feel uncomfortable or icky – like loving my enemies or presenting the Gospel to a close friend.
I respond to God the way I respond to the hygienist. She asks about my flossing, and I pretend to listen; I assure her that I understand the importance; I even floss a little while I am there to show her that I know how to do it. But then I take the free sample of floss and go home with no intention of changing my habits. I ignore her advice and choose to stay with my comfortable routine. I ignore the opportunities to share my faith with those around me. I give my money, but do I really need to care about those who are hurting or poor or different from me? I rationalize and I ignore, satisfying myself with my own meager efforts that never require me to be uncomfortable or to give sacrificially.

I know, though, that I am called to care, to respond, to give, and that as Christians, we all are. We are called to move beyond the ickiness, to love our neighbor, even when he is annoying, and to share our faith, even when it is awkward. We are called to care about the people in our neighborhood and the people on the other side of the world.

When I go in for my regular checkups, I hear Him reminding me of those truths. He chides me - sometimes gently and sometimes firmly commanding my obedience. He shows me the plaque building up and the consequences of sin. He shows me those hurting and those in desperate need of His love and His truth. So I confess my sin, and repent, choosing to follow and this time, sincerely desiring to change. I choose to move beyond the ickiness and to follow His lead. Even though it may not come naturally at first, with practice hopefully it will become a familiar part of my routine, one that will help fill cavities of a far more serious kind.

The Threshing Floor

This lesson, based in Ruth chapter 3, has hit me particularly hard this week. Ruth steps out in courage and goes to the threshing floor to propose to Boaz. The waiting is over. Naomi gives her instructions and her blessing and now the only thing left for her to do is to approach Boaz.

For me, this lesson is not so much about proposing - I've never had the inclination to propose to anyone. It is, though, for me a lesson about being willing to trust God enough to step out in faith, not knowing what the response will be. I've struggled with that in regards to dating, in regards to work, in regards to my writing. I trust God, but sometimes I still let fear hold me back instead of moving forward in faith and trusting God with whatever happens.

That's what I appreciate about Ruth. I'm sure she was afraid of how Boaz would respond. Here was this guy who had taken her under his wing, looked after her and protected her, provided food for her and Naomi. She had to be afraid of screwing all that up. This proposal was going to change things between them - for better or worse. If her proposal was unfavorably received, she could be jeopardizing her primary source of provision. Boaz had been incredibly kind to her, but marriage is different - it goes beyond typical kindness. Boaz was a man of standing in the community and here was Ruth, a foreigner. He might be willing to invite her to the table, to be friends with her, but marrying her was an entirely different matter. This could jeopardize his standing in the community. Then there is the possibility that Boaz would think less of her for going to the threshing floor, not exactly a place of good repute. Would just the act of going reflect poorly on her?

As I picture it, all these fears had to be running through her mind. But then again, I am used to fears running through my mind. Sometimes I hear a constant stream of what ifs playing, and I can't seem to find the mute button. But regardless of whether the audio was playing in Ruth's mind or not, she went anyway. She didn't know how things were going to turn out. She didn't know how Boaz would respond, but she still stepped out in courage, with boldness, opening herself up to what God had in store for her.

What if she hadn't gone? What if she had listened to those fears? She would have kept on working in the fields, gathering food for herself and Naomi. Things would have continued rather normally. BUT... she would have missed out on Boaz, missed out on the story God wanted to write in her life. She never would have been a part of the line of King David. She wouldn't be listed in the geneology of Jesus. She would have lived a perfectly mediocre life without the incredible blessings God had in store for her.

That's what I want think God has been trying to show me this week, the importance of replacing my fearful what ifs with what if nots... What am I missing out on when I let fear hold me back? How does God want to bless me as I step out and trust Him? What story does God want to write in my life? Looking back, I see opportunities that I let slip away, times when I was too afraid of what might happen, good or bad, times when I was too afraid of opening up myself to what God wanted to do. I wonder what if. It's not that I imagine things would have worked out perfectly, but what would I have learned walking through it with Christ, what would I have learned about trusting Him? Those questions are not meant to tie me up in the past. I am usually fairly good about leaving the past behind me and living without regrets. I know I can't change those times, but I can choose here and now to make myself available, to choose faith over fear. I can choose a better way. I want to find out what God might want to do with my writing. I want to find out what God has in store for me career-wise. I don't want to close myself off to new opportunities because I am afraid.

"Perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). Ruth was able to step out. I can step out. We all can step out to the threshing floor because He loves us (Romans 5:8) and He is working for our good (Romans 8:28).

The Game-Changing Pursuit

If you are like me, you may have read the story of Ruth before and thought Ruth pursued Boaz (see chapter 3). However, as I re-read chapter 2 today, I am increasingly convinced that Boaz pursued Ruth. I don't think Ruth ever would have approached Boaz in chapter 3 if he had not torn down the barriers between them in these first game changing encounters in chapter 2.

Almost immediately from their first encounter, Boaz put himself in the role of protector over Ruth. He ensured her safety while working in the fields, provided for her thirst, and connected her with his servant girls. He went far beyond what the law required in terms of providing for the poor and acknowledged Ruth's extraordinary kindness to Naomi. If the story ended there, it would a very noble platonic act of kindness that spoke well of Boaz' character. Here, he is definitely a good guy.

But here, (Ruth 2: 10-13) he is still far removed from Ruth, socially and polically. There are still numerous boundaries set up between them that would make it impossible for either of them to even consider dating or marriage. (I'm guessing dating wasn't that popular - probably more straight marriage talk.) Ruth even responds to his kindness by admitting she doesn't even have the status of one of his servant girls. This relationship is doomed before it ever starts. He is way out of her league. A proposal is preposterous at this point.

But, game changer, the story doesn't end there. For whatever reason, Boaz reaches out to Ruth again, this time not to protect her, this time he invites her to his table (v 14-15) This time, he removes the social and political barriers, the cultural norms that would normally keep them at a safe distance from each other. He removes and ignores those norms and invites her to eat at his table, with his harvesters. He is in essence saying, you are much more than a servant girl. I want to continue the conversation,to get to know you. I want to invite you into my world.

I wonder if Ruth was flustered. I'm sure she didn't have time to primp and dress up. And after all, she had been working in the field all day - hot and sweaty, probably feeling not so attractive. Of all times to be invited to dinner with this wealthy, influential, probably attractive man and his harvesters. Not that this was a fancy occasion - they had been in the fields all day too - but it was special, because invitations like this didn't come for girls like Ruth. Girls like Ruth weren't invited to dinner, weren't invited anywhere. I wonder if Ruth felt out of place, worried about what to talk about, or how much to eat. She was probably starving, but we all know you don't want people to see you eat too much. I wonder if she was excited, if she started thinking about telling Naomi about her experiences, about this nice guy and his kindness to her. Even if nothing else came from this evening, it would likely be a day she would never forget.

I could fill in some date stories here, but I kind of like keeping the focus on Ruth. Isn't it a beautiful romance in the making? Separated by so many differences, and yet, in one simple act, Boaz removes those barriers and invites her into his world. And I believe it is this act that sets the stage for Chapter 3. This act is far beyond an act of kindness to a stranger; this act turns a stranger and a foreigner into a friend. As any respectable man, he even give her flowers - okay bundles of barley - but he doesn't send her home empty-handed.

Maybe I am romanticizing this encounter a little much. There is nothing overtly romantic in this encounter, but I do think it was a game changer. Without Boaz reaching out to Ruth, inviting her into his world, they would be forever divided by the cultural norms of the day. They would have been in separate worlds divided by ethnicity and socio-economic status. She never would have been able to approach him to ask him to be a kinsman-redeemer. That conversation could never have taken place. This game changer so important for another reason as well. This game changer is a precursor to the biggest game changer of them all - Jesus Christ. We, who were separated from God by our status as sinners, can have a relationship with Him BECAUSE He tore down the barriers. He came into our world, died and rose again to make it possible for us to be reconciled to God, for us in our unrighteousness and unworthiness to approach God in His righteousness and His Holiness. In Him, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female," (Galatians 3:28). All those barriers are now gone. They no longer hold us back from God or from each other. And even better, He invites us to His table (Revelation 19:6-10) to dine with Him. He wants to fellowship with us and get to know us and continue the conversation.

Hmmm... I love that picture. I am so glad that He notices me, that He cares, and that He pursues a relationship with me - even when I've been working in the fields and not feeling very attractive or loveable.

~Erin

My God & My Protector

Over ten years ago, when I got my first apartment and moved out of my parents’ to be on my own, one of my dad’s friends commented rather wryly, about how I shouldn’t be moving out on my own and how I should live with my parents until I was married. After all, I would be without a protector, a single woman by herself.
For those of you who know me, you can probably imagine how that comment went over. I can be stubborn, strong-willed, and outspoken at times, and my thinking and his were not exactly on the same page. Part of my story before Christ was that I didn’t think I needed anyone, not even God, but especially not a man. (I like to distinguish here between need and want. Just, FYI.)

But years, later, with hopefully more wisdom and experience, I have a slightly different take on that comment from long ago. I have now been the one with outsider labeled on her forehead multiple times, and I have moved to four different cities in those ten years – Mt Holly, NC then Rock Hill, SC, then Columbia, SC, and now Waco, TX, all places where I didn’t know anyone. All those moves later, I now know how nice it is to have someone take me under their wings, to be that protector for me.

In Rock Hill, it was Susie, one of the most incredibly vivacious and nurturing and loving women I have ever met. She immediately proclaimed herself to be my Rock Hill mother – to look after me as she would want someone to look after her daughters if they were away from home. She became an incredible mentor in my life and someone who just invested time and love in me. I so want to radiate Christ’s love to others like she did and to show that kind of hospitality.

In Columbia, it was a guy friend that I met at church that introduced me to people and helped me get connected. He became like an older brother to me over the years, the one I could turn to with crises. And then it was other friends of mine, true community – we would look out for each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually – praying during tough times, or walking each other to our cars late at night, or speaking up on relationship issues, or changing tires. Many of us didn’t have family close by, so we became like family for each other.

I think those experiences give me an appreciation for that role of protector that I didn’t have before, the need for someone I could turn to when I needed help. Now, wherever I am, I try to identify a car trouble friend – someone that I can call if my car breaks down on the side of the road. I have roadside assistance, but it is that principle of knowing who I could turn to if I needed help in a vulnerable situation. It’s one of the first to-do’s on my moving list, seeking out an emergency contact. Wow – God has a way of changing us. It sounds a little different from ten years ago and my steely stubbornness of not needing anyone.

And as I read this 2nd chapter of Ruth, I am struck by Boaz reaching out to Ruth and putting himself immediately in that role. He could easily have ignored this strange girl. He didn’t have any obligation to her. He was already providing according to the law, by allowing her to glean from the leftovers of the harvest. But he went beyond the law, beyond what he was required to do. He immediately recognized her vulnerability and reached out to her as a father figure, making arrangements to ensure her protection, urging her not to go to other fields, instructing his men to leave her alone, and placing her in community with other servant girls, so that she wouldn’t be by herself.

I can imagine how many fears Ruth must have had going into those fields for the first time by herself – as a young, single, poor foreigner. I can only imagine how relieved and how much safer she must have felt knowing now that someone was looking out for her safety and wellbeing, providing for her thirst, and showing genuine concern.

And as any wise single woman, she knows to question the kindness – to make sure it doesn’t come with strings attached of a far more sinister nature. What a relief it must have been to realize that Boaz’ kindness was not just a random act of kindness to a stranger, but a kindness of heart with sound character. Boaz’ kindness to her was with recognition of the sacrifices and kindness that Ruth herself had shown to Naomi. His kindness is not just hospitality to a stranger, but a way of recognizing and honoring Ruth’s kindness, one that could easily have been overlooked by others. I have a hard time picturing the people of Bethlehem giving Ruth a pat on the back for coming back with Naomi. I picture them instead much more likely to be saying – what on earth was she thinking? In light of her sacrifices though, how much more beautiful is it to have Boaz say, I see what you did and I think it is amazing. And just as you have taken care of Naomi, may God look over and protect you. And I’ll do my part as well.

That’s pretty amazing. My God, and my protector…