Stopping Short & Going Long

In my last blog, I talked about the tortoise and the need to consistently move forward. Sometimes, though, we run into detours, and such has been my training this time around. Instead of moving forward, I have been “stuck” at maintaining and struggling to get in my weekly runs, much less my 3x a week scheduled ones. My cross-training has been suffering, as I haven’t hit the gym much lately either. As happens from time to time, life gets in the way.

I recently accepted a new position at Baylor University and will be moving to Texas in a month. My training schedule has given way to packing and to-do lists, quality time with friends and family, closing one chapter of my life and preparing to begin another.

And so, in some ways, I accept defeat. I am stopping short of my goal, officially changing my registration from the half-marathon to the 5K, the same weekend. I am still, though, running with our team and still supporting Samaritan’s Purse. I just can’t finish the training and build the miles for the half while doing what I need to do to transition. As I struggled with the decision, I felt disappointed in myself and my lack of follow through. It bothers me not to finish what I started.

But while I am stopping short of this goal, the half, I am also thinking about going long, thinking long-term about how I can continue to support Samaritan’s Purse, how I can cultivate Christ-like compassion in my life, about how I can make a difference in the lives of those around me. I want to go the distance when it comes to caring and encouraging others to care about those in need around the world. I want to write, to share, to give generously to organizations like SP that are there long-term, meeting needs and changing lives in the name of Christ.

I hope to team up with Carolyn and all again in the future, and tackle a half successfully. In the meantime, I still choose to run with purpose and want to finish well.

If you missed the article Brett Welsh wrote in the Columbia College Postscript, check it out here:

http://www.c2postscript.com/sports-and-wellness/running-for-the-world-s-problems-not-away-from-them-1.1838011

It’s not too late to support our team. Go to our team website to donate:

http://www.firstgiving.com/columbiacollege-teamsp .

The Tortoise and the Hare

When I was growing up, the Tortoise and the Hare was one of my favorite fairy tales. One of Aesop’s Fables, the story is about a race between a slow tortoise and a speedy hare. The speedy hare boastfully asserts that no one can beat him and laughs at the painfully slow pace at which the tortoise moves. He decides to take a nap along the way, and then eats breakfast. Each time he checks on the tortoise and reassures himself he has nothing to worry about. After taking yet another nap though, he awakens to find the tortoise painfully close to the finish line. He tries to get there fast enough, but even his speed isn’t fast enough to make up the lost ground. The tortoise wins the race, not because of his speed, but because of his consistency and persistence.

This story is a poignant reminder to me as I think about my running and about our cause. After my last post several friends shared stories with me of their struggles in running. It was so reassuring to know that I am not alone. As I reflected on our stories, I realized that what sets us apart is not that we are successful every time out, or that we are the fastest, or that we keep every day on our training schedule. It’s that we keep trying over and over again. When we get off track, we get back on. It’s that consistency and persistence that keeps us going. Even if we don’t eek out a victory like the hare, at least we know we’re further along than we use to be. We stay the course and press on toward the prize.

This time of year is the time for new resolve. We often talk about resolutions, but this year I noticed more and more people choosing not to make resolutions. “Oh, I’ll fail anyway” or “What’s the use?” are expressions I have heard frequently. And there is something sad about that to me, when we decide not to try, scared to risk failure or to sacrifice for growth. I have been disappointed at myself for not doing all that I said I was going to do for this project, discouraged at the lack of fundraising and my lack of training. But yet, is it worth the effort? Absolutely. I care. Sometimes I disappoint myself that I don’t care more, or care better for the needs around the world. Sometimes I get so consumed with the conveniences and the “crises” of my life, that I close my eyes to the pain and need of others. But I want to care more. I resolve to care more.

I want to run the race, the physical race, but even more important the course that God has set before me. I want to be love more, to be useful to Him, to support Samaritan’s Purse in the work they are doing, and to make a difference. I resolve. And I’m okay if others get there before me or do bigger and better things, but I want to care and to be faithful over time. I want to keep running this race throughout my life. I want to stay the course and finish well.

As for my training, I went for a good run Saturday (and enjoyed it again) and hit the gym today. I’m getting back on track slowly but surely.

Please pray for our team, for our training, for our fundraising. Samaritan’s Purse touches lives around the world. We want to support them in the work they are doing long-term, consistently and persistently. Please support us financially if you are able. When I went to Nicaragua this past summer, I saw how far money can go in developing countries. A small gift can make a huge difference.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me.

In Christ,

Erin

http://www.firstgiving.com/columbiacollege-teamsp

Going Through the Motions - Confessions, Part 2

Enough of the philosophical talk… I think all of you know by now why I am doing this race and being a part of this journey. It is much easier, I have to admit, to talk about that part, than to talk about my actual training. However, it is an inescapable part of my journey to get to where I want to be.

My training has not been going well. I took a couple of unplanned weeks off over the break. Without my running partner and without accountability, it was a little too easy to put training on the back burner for the holidays. I did take a scenic run through the snow, for fun, but overall I lost more distance than I built up over those couple of weeks. And getting back on track has not been easy.

Over this last week, I have been reminded why I run, and I’ve shared that with you. I know the cause is worthy, but sometimes I get beat down by the actual implementation. Even with the new year, the built in time for new beginnings and new motivation, I have struggled to get started anew. The challenge seems great and the work – well it feels like work instead of something I look forward to.

Part of what I love about running is getting rid of my stress, feeling like I don’t have to compete with anyone except myself and my previous time or my personal goal. But lately, I have felt like the weak link, like I can’t compete with the others on my team. I feel stressed about running – not doing enough, not being good enough, not eating well enough… and the list goes on. All I can think about is everything that I am supposed to do compared to everything that I am doing and feeling like I am letting myself down.

 As I have tried to get my mental game back, I thought about how many times I approach God like that – like a checklist of work that I have to do, like someone who is there to remind me of how many times I screw up. I get caught in a similar game of going through the motions or comparing myself to others. I get caught up in the disciplines of the Christian life, instead of living abundantly in Him and resting in His love and grace. In Him, I don’t have to be good enough. And when I screw up, He forgives me. He restores me and helps me get back on the path to success. It is incredibly freeing to not have to be perfect, to be able to be the best me that I can be and to know that I am loved regardless.

For me, then, the challenge this week has been how to get that sense of freedom back in my running. I went to the gym yesterday and started to go through my list of how far I should run or all that I needed to do. I set the list aside, though, and instead, went to have fun. I went to workout for me, to remember what I love about running. I sweated my worries and my stress away. It felt great to forget about the have-tos for a little while and re-discover the want-tos. And that is my current goal. Don’t ask how many miles I will run this weekend. The truth is, I’m not sure. But I want to have fun doing it.

Instead of going through the motions of training and resenting it, I want to enjoy the journey, to be focused on our cause, and to spend quality time with my team. Instead of going through the motions in my spiritual life, I think God similarly wants the desires of my heart to be focused on Him, for me to enjoy Him, to love Him, and to spend time with Him.

One more thing I love about running… what God teaches me through it about life. J Thanks for reading and for sharing the journey. Thank you to those who have supported us financially. We greatly appreciate it.

http://www.firstgiving.com/columbiacollege-teamsp

Three Cups of Tea & More

Over the holidays, I finished reading “Three Cups of Tea,” the story of Greg Mortenson, a mountain climber who found himself building schools in remote areas of Pakistan and later Afghanistan. His story is a compelling one – During a failed attempt to climb K2, he finds himself lost and taken in by a remote village. He is moved by their hospitality and promises to return and help them build a school. At the time, he has no idea how hard it will be to get the funds, the obstacles that he will run into, and the sacrifices that he will have to make. But he nonetheless perseveres, keeps his promise to the village, and along the way discovers a new life calling. Since then, his reputation in the region and across the world has grown. He has built numerous schools and has been a vocal advocate for education, particularly women’s education, as a way to change communities and instill hope. (I highly recommend his book, by the way.)

As I read his book, I was struck by how easy it would have been for him to have given up on that promise. It would have been easy for him to return to his work in the US and forgotten about the people that he encountered, forgotten about the need that he saw. At one point, he wrote over 500 letters asking for support and got only one $100 check in return. Later as he was preparing to give a speech to foster support, he set out over 250 chairs, and had no one show up except two store employees who were not interested in his school project at all. It would have been easy for him to walk away.  But he didn’t. He gave his presentation anyway. As he was cleaning up afterwards and feeling like a failure, he found a $25000 check that an anonymous person had left. Unbeknownst to him, someone else had been listening.

That story sticks out to me. And in spite of all his future successes and all the schools that he has since built, I think that story resonates with me the most – his decision to continue with his efforts when it seemed like no one was paying attention, like no one cared. Too many times, I tend to give up when I think no one is listening (or reading). If I can’t see that my efforts are making a difference, it is really hard for me to be motivated to continue, to stick it out, to be faithful.

And yet, I think those times when the challenges come and we can’t see the immediate results are the times when it really becomes faith, when it becomes not about what we see, but the conviction that we have that our cause is right, that we are right to care, to notice, to act.

I don’t know what God has planned for this project, for this race, for this fundraising. But I believe in our cause. I believe that He is honored in this group of people who choose to care and to give of our time, talents, and resources. There have been times when it would have been easy to walk away. But something keeps drawing me back to this project, to Carolyn’s desire to do something great for God, for my desire to cultivate compassion and build off my experiences in Nicaragua. I believe that we are right to care. And beyond that, the results become less important than the process, than our faithfulness, than our journey as a team.

Thank you for sharing that journey with us. Please pray that we will remain faithful even during the hard days & that God will use this for good, His good in our lives and for the good Samaritan’s Purse is doing even in the uttermost parts of the earth.

Happy 2011!

www.samaritanspurse.org

http://www.firstgiving.com/columbiacollege-teamsp