penned up inside
refused voice
refused ink
destined to be felt deeply
to serve purpose
to remind
to hurt
to ache endlessly
to love truly
to keep alive
the feeling -
and yet, still words.
~erin, 1996
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Whole of My Sin
In a hole to start with,
trying to escape -
keep digging, digging, digging
only deeper and deeper I go.
One-time feeling evolves into state of mind
Can't get out, trapped in it's grasp;
let go, let go, got to get out.
Can't be done, in too deep
no visible answer, no ladder around
As giving up Hope and Fate to give in,
Sudden release, Savior indeed;
freedom at last from the hole of my sin.
~erin, 1994
trying to escape -
keep digging, digging, digging
only deeper and deeper I go.
One-time feeling evolves into state of mind
Can't get out, trapped in it's grasp;
let go, let go, got to get out.
Can't be done, in too deep
no visible answer, no ladder around
As giving up Hope and Fate to give in,
Sudden release, Savior indeed;
freedom at last from the hole of my sin.
~erin, 1994
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Destination: GOD'S WILL
For the new year, I am not beginning a new journey, but rather continuing an old one. I am once again in search of God’s Will for my life…
Sometimes I picture arriving at my destination as arriving to a new town – perhaps, God’s Will, South Carolina, population 828. I occasionally pass a couple of signs that say God’s Will, stay right, or Expressway to God’s Purposes, 25 miles ahead. I have run into some construction zones– new character development in progress, detour 2 years, or passageway to Humility (a necessary rest stop) temporarily blocked by pride. Sometimes I have chosen to take the path of Forgiveness or Love and it brings me closer; other times I opt to bypass Patience (rumored to be a long but direct route) and end up further away. A path called Prayer seems to illuminate the often dark roads, helping me to see the next steps; even more clarity comes from travelling the way of the Word.
Sometimes, though, the destination seems illusive, just a little out of reach. Maybe I’m close, maybe I’m already there, maybe I still have a ways to travel. I can’t really tell. Each step in Faith, though, encourages me to continue the journey. And then as I keep asking, searching, and waiting, I realize what my Guide has been trying to tell me all along – God’s Will does not have a zip code. There is no X marking the spot on my treasure map. Rather, God’s Will is found in trusting my Guide, obeying His clear direction even when I can’t see the path ahead. Sometimes there is a clear right direction that He wants to lead me in. Other times He wants me to just stay with Him, to walk with Him, wherever the path leads - through good times or bad, through understanding or confusion, through joy or pain.
I realize that part of God’s Will is relationship and fellowship, being instead of doing, following instead of leading. That’s a rather new journey for me, one that is a little different from my past attempts to get to God’s Will by deciphering the map myself. In some ways, it is harder because I have to realize I don’t have the map. My Guide does. That journey is much newer to me, handing over control to Him, trusting Him every step of the way.
As I ponder the route to God’s Will, I found the following passages helpful. Perhaps they will help you as well:
• Knowing in part – I Corinthians 13:12
• Pre-requisite – Romans 12:1-2
• Clear direction – 1 Thessalonians 4:3
• Straight paths – Proverbs 3:5-6
• Praying for God’s Will – Colossians 1:9-10
• Praying for God’s Will – Matthew 6:10
• God’s Purpose – Philippians 2:13
• Understanding – Ephesians 5:17
• Desire to do God’s Will – Psalm 40:8
• Training required – Psalm 143:10
• My Guide – Psalm 25:4-5
• My Guide – Psalm 73:23-24
• Clear Direction – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Sometimes I picture arriving at my destination as arriving to a new town – perhaps, God’s Will, South Carolina, population 828. I occasionally pass a couple of signs that say God’s Will, stay right, or Expressway to God’s Purposes, 25 miles ahead. I have run into some construction zones– new character development in progress, detour 2 years, or passageway to Humility (a necessary rest stop) temporarily blocked by pride. Sometimes I have chosen to take the path of Forgiveness or Love and it brings me closer; other times I opt to bypass Patience (rumored to be a long but direct route) and end up further away. A path called Prayer seems to illuminate the often dark roads, helping me to see the next steps; even more clarity comes from travelling the way of the Word.
Sometimes, though, the destination seems illusive, just a little out of reach. Maybe I’m close, maybe I’m already there, maybe I still have a ways to travel. I can’t really tell. Each step in Faith, though, encourages me to continue the journey. And then as I keep asking, searching, and waiting, I realize what my Guide has been trying to tell me all along – God’s Will does not have a zip code. There is no X marking the spot on my treasure map. Rather, God’s Will is found in trusting my Guide, obeying His clear direction even when I can’t see the path ahead. Sometimes there is a clear right direction that He wants to lead me in. Other times He wants me to just stay with Him, to walk with Him, wherever the path leads - through good times or bad, through understanding or confusion, through joy or pain.
I realize that part of God’s Will is relationship and fellowship, being instead of doing, following instead of leading. That’s a rather new journey for me, one that is a little different from my past attempts to get to God’s Will by deciphering the map myself. In some ways, it is harder because I have to realize I don’t have the map. My Guide does. That journey is much newer to me, handing over control to Him, trusting Him every step of the way.
As I ponder the route to God’s Will, I found the following passages helpful. Perhaps they will help you as well:
• Knowing in part – I Corinthians 13:12
• Pre-requisite – Romans 12:1-2
• Clear direction – 1 Thessalonians 4:3
• Straight paths – Proverbs 3:5-6
• Praying for God’s Will – Colossians 1:9-10
• Praying for God’s Will – Matthew 6:10
• God’s Purpose – Philippians 2:13
• Understanding – Ephesians 5:17
• Desire to do God’s Will – Psalm 40:8
• Training required – Psalm 143:10
• My Guide – Psalm 25:4-5
• My Guide – Psalm 73:23-24
• Clear Direction – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
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