John 2:1-5
The story of Jesus turning the water into wine… We talked about this story yesterday in Sunday school, and it taught me something new about how to pray.
In the story, Mary comes to Jesus with a situation – a problem, not a solution, not a request, just a problem. She doesn’t state any desire of her own. She just shares her problem with Jesus and then lets go of it. Actually, she walks away, leaving it entirely in Jesus’ hands.
And Jesus responds, providing His solution to her problem – a solution that showed He cared, that glorified God, and that more than solved the problem. In fact, the solution He provided probably far exceeded anything Mary could have requested or imagined. He provided abundantly more.
So many times, I pray about my requests, bringing God my solutions to my problems and wanting Him to make them happen. Or I pray my desires, as if I know the best picture possible for my life and He just needs to allow it to happen. Praying that way, though, I miss out on the miracles that He wants to do in my life. I may miss out on the abundantly more that He wanted for me. It may lead me further away from God’s plan for my life. As I’ve pondered this passage yesterday and today, I have become more convinced that my way of praying doesn’t honor God and His sovereignty. It doesn’t acknowledge Him as Lord of my life and it doesn’t glorify Him.
During this journey, I want to be a blank slate before Him, giving Him my problems, my desires, and leaving them in His hands, letting Him answer as He wants, being able to walk away and leave my past, present, and future in His hands. Instead of requesting, I want to share, to lay my burdens at His feet and then wait on Him to answer, to guide, to lead in the way He chooses.
I want Him to be the one writing the script, not me. I don’t want His approval for my life, I want to sign on to His best that He already has planned for me. I have a feeling it will be abundantly more…
Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Day 7 - An Invitation to Go Deeper
Exodus 33: 7-11
The other week in our prayer group, we talked about this passage… and it has still been resonating in my heart.
The tent of meeting was set up outside the Israelite camp, as a place where anyone could go to meet with God. Anyone could go. It was an open invitation for all who wanted to know Him personally, anyone who wanted to inquire of the Lord.
Only Moses and Joshua went, though. The invitation was open to all, but the verses say these two were the ones that went. It says that the others would stand outside their tents and watch, from the sidelines. They would watch as God’s presence would visibly descend on the Tent of Meeting. They would stand and worship, but none of them chose to go to the tent themselves.
I wonder why. Why would they stay on the sidelines when they could see God and know Him more? Why would they hesitate to meet with God and to fellowship with Him?
Was it because they didn’t care? I don’t think so. They stood and watched. They cared about what was going on. They chose not to get involved. Maybe because going to the tent required leaving the safety of the camp behind. Maybe because it required connecting with God personally instead of relying on their leaders. Maybe because they were satisfied with what they already knew.
All these reasons sound familiar to me. They are all reasons/ excuses that I have used. It’s much easier to stay in camp, to be safe, than to dare to go deeper, to experience God personally. Experiencing God, though, takes risks, it involves hardship and leaving the familiar to trust Him day by day. But it also leads to joy and peace. Because he came and met with God, Moses had a friendship with God. God met with him, face to face; God spoke to Moses and revealed Himself to Moses in a special way… all because Moses dared to go deeper.
I don’t want to watch from the sidelines. I still want to go deeper with Him. I want to be His friend. I want Him to reveal Himself to me and to show me His will for my life.
The other week in our prayer group, we talked about this passage… and it has still been resonating in my heart.
The tent of meeting was set up outside the Israelite camp, as a place where anyone could go to meet with God. Anyone could go. It was an open invitation for all who wanted to know Him personally, anyone who wanted to inquire of the Lord.
Only Moses and Joshua went, though. The invitation was open to all, but the verses say these two were the ones that went. It says that the others would stand outside their tents and watch, from the sidelines. They would watch as God’s presence would visibly descend on the Tent of Meeting. They would stand and worship, but none of them chose to go to the tent themselves.
I wonder why. Why would they stay on the sidelines when they could see God and know Him more? Why would they hesitate to meet with God and to fellowship with Him?
Was it because they didn’t care? I don’t think so. They stood and watched. They cared about what was going on. They chose not to get involved. Maybe because going to the tent required leaving the safety of the camp behind. Maybe because it required connecting with God personally instead of relying on their leaders. Maybe because they were satisfied with what they already knew.
All these reasons sound familiar to me. They are all reasons/ excuses that I have used. It’s much easier to stay in camp, to be safe, than to dare to go deeper, to experience God personally. Experiencing God, though, takes risks, it involves hardship and leaving the familiar to trust Him day by day. But it also leads to joy and peace. Because he came and met with God, Moses had a friendship with God. God met with him, face to face; God spoke to Moses and revealed Himself to Moses in a special way… all because Moses dared to go deeper.
I don’t want to watch from the sidelines. I still want to go deeper with Him. I want to be His friend. I want Him to reveal Himself to me and to show me His will for my life.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Day 5 - A Settled Future
1 Peter 5:10
I feel sad. I don’t know if I am ready to shake the dust off and close the door with finality. I haven't been ready to close that door yet. I need to, but I guess I still struggle with saying my final goodbye to that chapter in my life.
The last few weeks have been very unsettling, and honestly, they are just a small part of a much larger unsettled feeling in my life. Over the past five years, I have moved four times, been through several major job changes, gone back to graduate school, which was a huge transition in itself, and really created an upheaval in my life from who I was before. Change is not necessarily a bad thing, but I have had a lot of it over the last several years. And my life is getting ready to change again, in May, after I graduate. I’m not really sure what changes that will bring about, but I know I am excited about having free nights and weekends and the ability to get back involved in ministry.
Really, I yearn to be settled, to be in a place for more than a year, to have roots in the community, at church, at work. I want to know what it is like to have some stability, without getting bored and without getting complacent, but having some sense of being established. Some of my friends here in Columbia have been here for many years, and sometimes I’m jealous of that sense of shared history they have with others, walking through different life changes together, seeing each other grow, and helping each other. I crave that sometimes, and sometimes it seems so far from where I have been and where I am right now.
This verse in 1 Peter is one of my life verses. I cling to it in moments like this, when I feel unsettled, because it says that God has a plan, and He will ESTABLISH us, STRENGTHEN us, and SETTLE us. On the other side of the suffering and hardships and changes of life, God will bring us to a settled place in Him. I love that.
It reminds me of Abraham who set out on a journey to an unknown destination, and God led him through to bring him to a good and prosperous land that would be his for generations. Sometimes I feel like I am wandering aimlessly, taking my best guess at where God is leading, and trying to follow His path, but the truth is I have a hard time seeing the final destination. I have a hard time seeing where He is leading and which path I should choose. Instead, I have to trust Him day by day to show me the next steps along the way, seeking His wisdom and His guidance as I make decisions that can take me further on that journey and lead me to that place of peace and settledness in Him.
I feel sad. I don’t know if I am ready to shake the dust off and close the door with finality. I haven't been ready to close that door yet. I need to, but I guess I still struggle with saying my final goodbye to that chapter in my life.
The last few weeks have been very unsettling, and honestly, they are just a small part of a much larger unsettled feeling in my life. Over the past five years, I have moved four times, been through several major job changes, gone back to graduate school, which was a huge transition in itself, and really created an upheaval in my life from who I was before. Change is not necessarily a bad thing, but I have had a lot of it over the last several years. And my life is getting ready to change again, in May, after I graduate. I’m not really sure what changes that will bring about, but I know I am excited about having free nights and weekends and the ability to get back involved in ministry.
Really, I yearn to be settled, to be in a place for more than a year, to have roots in the community, at church, at work. I want to know what it is like to have some stability, without getting bored and without getting complacent, but having some sense of being established. Some of my friends here in Columbia have been here for many years, and sometimes I’m jealous of that sense of shared history they have with others, walking through different life changes together, seeing each other grow, and helping each other. I crave that sometimes, and sometimes it seems so far from where I have been and where I am right now.
This verse in 1 Peter is one of my life verses. I cling to it in moments like this, when I feel unsettled, because it says that God has a plan, and He will ESTABLISH us, STRENGTHEN us, and SETTLE us. On the other side of the suffering and hardships and changes of life, God will bring us to a settled place in Him. I love that.
It reminds me of Abraham who set out on a journey to an unknown destination, and God led him through to bring him to a good and prosperous land that would be his for generations. Sometimes I feel like I am wandering aimlessly, taking my best guess at where God is leading, and trying to follow His path, but the truth is I have a hard time seeing the final destination. I have a hard time seeing where He is leading and which path I should choose. Instead, I have to trust Him day by day to show me the next steps along the way, seeking His wisdom and His guidance as I make decisions that can take me further on that journey and lead me to that place of peace and settledness in Him.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Day 4 - Shaking Off the Dust
Matthew 10: 11-14
I appreciate everyone’s comments and messages about the entries so far. It helps to know that people are reading and that you are finding it encouraging. If you haven’t shared your thoughts with me yet, please do so. I would like to hear from you and to know what you think.
A couple of the comments that I have received have led to an interesting discussion about dating itself and how to go about pursuing God’s will.
I read this passage today, and I thought it was a good analogy for dating. It was certainly not written in the context of dating, but rather in commissioning the apostles for ministry. However, the steps that they were given seem to apply to the dating process as well.
- Search for a worthy person (v 11). Obviously a key component of dating is to find someone of solid character and spiritual maturity.
- Greet new opportunities (v 12) to get to know that person. My translation… Be open.
- Test it. It actually says, “If the house is deserving” (v 13). Find out if this person is God’s best for you. Find out if God is blessing it, and if the compatibility, the values, the growth is there. I think time and prayer are the only ways to determine the answer to this question.
- If it is, then let God’s peace rest in it (v 13). Enjoy it! Build that trust and intimacy that will prepare you for a covenant marriage.
- If/ when God stops blessing it, and peace departs from it, its time to leave (v 13).
Leaving is seldom easy, especially when it means walking away from something that once seemed like it had God’s blessing. But it doesn’t mean that the experience was a failure. It maybe means that God brought us together for a reason, that He did bless it, and then He was ready to move us on to another place, another situation, perhaps another relationship.
At first, I thought shaking off the dust was a harsh act of bitterness. Now, I don’t think it is. I see it more as a symbolic closing of one door, a cleansing act, so that we, I, can move on to the next place of ministry or growth or relationship that God has in store without looking back.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Day 3 - Restoration & Healing Fractures
Psalm 60
Sometimes I wonder about the scars from relationships. I worry about emotional baggage that may hinder future relationships. I wonder if some fractures can really be healed or if time just dulls the pain.
God, though, is the great healer. In these verses the psalmist cries out to Him because He is the one that can restore us (v 1); He is the one that mend the fractures (v 2) even when it seems like the earth is quaking beneath us. Broken hopes, broken hearts, broken trust… God can heal all of those in us. He is in the restoration business. “With God, we will gain the victory.” (v12).
I was talking to one of my friends tonight, and she told me that it is impossible to break a bone in the exact same place twice. A doctor told her that after she broke her arm twice in nearly the same spot. As she remembers it (and we haven’t verified the medical veracity of this) the doctor told her that breaks never happen along a previous break. It is as if the new bone growth from the healing process gives that section of bone a new strength that makes it much less susceptible to breaking.
I like that picture. Maybe when we have scars, God applies His special healing that mends the hurt and through that healing process God restores us in ways that give us new wisdom, strength, and grace for all that lies ahead, that enable us to continue to be open to new relationships and at the same time stronger than we were before.
Sometimes I wonder about the scars from relationships. I worry about emotional baggage that may hinder future relationships. I wonder if some fractures can really be healed or if time just dulls the pain.
God, though, is the great healer. In these verses the psalmist cries out to Him because He is the one that can restore us (v 1); He is the one that mend the fractures (v 2) even when it seems like the earth is quaking beneath us. Broken hopes, broken hearts, broken trust… God can heal all of those in us. He is in the restoration business. “With God, we will gain the victory.” (v12).
I was talking to one of my friends tonight, and she told me that it is impossible to break a bone in the exact same place twice. A doctor told her that after she broke her arm twice in nearly the same spot. As she remembers it (and we haven’t verified the medical veracity of this) the doctor told her that breaks never happen along a previous break. It is as if the new bone growth from the healing process gives that section of bone a new strength that makes it much less susceptible to breaking.
I like that picture. Maybe when we have scars, God applies His special healing that mends the hurt and through that healing process God restores us in ways that give us new wisdom, strength, and grace for all that lies ahead, that enable us to continue to be open to new relationships and at the same time stronger than we were before.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Day 2 - Choosing Peace instead of Bitterness
Hebrews 12: 14-15
I choose not to let bitterness take root in my life (v15). It is hard, at times, and something I’ve really been struggling with over the last few weeks. It’s much easier to be angry than to feel hurt. It’s much easier to respond bitterly than to let people see you cry. People even give you permission to be angry… it’s part of the process; they almost expect it. But for me, it doesn’t help.
The anger, often the result of seeking out fault in the other person, distracts me from looking at myself and my fault. It keeps me from seeking God’s good in the situation and causes me to miss His greater purpose. It keeps me from admitting that I cared and from acknowledging the gift of sharing part of my life with another person, even if only for a short period of my life.
These verses talk about a better way, deflecting anger and bitterness, refusing to let it take root in my life, choosing to live in peace with others (v 14), perhaps even those who have hurt us. I think about the people that I have hurt in my life, and I realize that it is only through grace that we can return pain with forgiveness, letting God’s love dissolve the hurt, and intentionally choosing the path of peace over bitterness. I am grateful for people in my life who have chosen that path, and that is the person that I want to be. I want to mirror God’s grace. I want to choose to see His love and His forgiveness reflected in my life. I choose peace.
I choose not to let bitterness take root in my life (v15). It is hard, at times, and something I’ve really been struggling with over the last few weeks. It’s much easier to be angry than to feel hurt. It’s much easier to respond bitterly than to let people see you cry. People even give you permission to be angry… it’s part of the process; they almost expect it. But for me, it doesn’t help.
The anger, often the result of seeking out fault in the other person, distracts me from looking at myself and my fault. It keeps me from seeking God’s good in the situation and causes me to miss His greater purpose. It keeps me from admitting that I cared and from acknowledging the gift of sharing part of my life with another person, even if only for a short period of my life.
These verses talk about a better way, deflecting anger and bitterness, refusing to let it take root in my life, choosing to live in peace with others (v 14), perhaps even those who have hurt us. I think about the people that I have hurt in my life, and I realize that it is only through grace that we can return pain with forgiveness, letting God’s love dissolve the hurt, and intentionally choosing the path of peace over bitterness. I am grateful for people in my life who have chosen that path, and that is the person that I want to be. I want to mirror God’s grace. I want to choose to see His love and His forgiveness reflected in my life. I choose peace.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Day 1 - The Inseparable Nature of God's Love
Romans 8: 35-39
Today is my fifth anniversary of the day I was baptized and completely surrendered my life to Christ. When I think back on that day five years ago, I always go back to the Phillips, Craig, and Dean song “When God Ran.” That song is one of God’s great love messages to me, to all of us… it is the story of the prodigal son coming home and the Father running to meet him, to tell him that he (the Father) still loves him. The chorus goes like this:
“The only time I ever saw Him run
Was when He ran to me,
He took me in arms,
Held my head to his chest,
Said my son’s come home again
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in his voice,
He said, ‘son, do you know I still love you.’” (Phillips, Craig, and Dean)
That is God’s great message… I used to think I was too much of a failure, that no one could love me like that, no one could love me in spite of my faults. God’s love is different, though. He is different. His love is eternal, never changing, and unconditional. He never changes His mind; He loves us in spite of our fears, our faults, our failures. Wherever we are, whatever we do, nothing can separate us from His love. The verses in Romans say that neither trouble, or hardship, or disaster, nor the present, nor the future can separate us from His love. His love is constant. He is always there, ready to take us in His arms, assuring us that in spite of everything, He still loves us. He still loves me.
Today is my fifth anniversary of the day I was baptized and completely surrendered my life to Christ. When I think back on that day five years ago, I always go back to the Phillips, Craig, and Dean song “When God Ran.” That song is one of God’s great love messages to me, to all of us… it is the story of the prodigal son coming home and the Father running to meet him, to tell him that he (the Father) still loves him. The chorus goes like this:
“The only time I ever saw Him run
Was when He ran to me,
He took me in arms,
Held my head to his chest,
Said my son’s come home again
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in his voice,
He said, ‘son, do you know I still love you.’” (Phillips, Craig, and Dean)
That is God’s great message… I used to think I was too much of a failure, that no one could love me like that, no one could love me in spite of my faults. God’s love is different, though. He is different. His love is eternal, never changing, and unconditional. He never changes His mind; He loves us in spite of our fears, our faults, our failures. Wherever we are, whatever we do, nothing can separate us from His love. The verses in Romans say that neither trouble, or hardship, or disaster, nor the present, nor the future can separate us from His love. His love is constant. He is always there, ready to take us in His arms, assuring us that in spite of everything, He still loves us. He still loves me.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Day 0 - Enduring Hardships and the Haunting Question of Why
Hebrews 12:7-13
I think why is sometimes the most haunting question of all, but I really like the answers provided by these verses. Here's three reasons that God says hardship comes into our lives and why we should press on in the difficult times -
I think why is sometimes the most haunting question of all, but I really like the answers provided by these verses. Here's three reasons that God says hardship comes into our lives and why we should press on in the difficult times -
- so that we may LIVE (v 9) and not just a mediocre existence, but abundant life in Christ
- so that we may share in His HOLINESS (v 10) - fire refines us like gold burning away the impurities
- so that it can produce a harvest of RIGHTEOUSNESS and PEACE in our lives (v 11).
This passage also gives us the answers to how to respond to hardship:
- Accept it as God's discipline (v 7), not that it is God's punishment toward us, but rather that He has something to teach us and that we have something to learn from it.
- Submit to His Lordship (v 9) because He is ultimately in control.
- And my favorite…THEREFORE, strengthen our arms (v 13). Because He is in control, we can be strong, even in the midst of heartache or job loss or any other difficult time.
That's what I want the next 50 days to be about... learning what God has to teach me, acknowledging that He is in control, and being strengthened by Him.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Fifty Days of Purpose
I've always struggled with relationships. I've been a self-confessed commitment phobe at times and then a recovering commitment-phobe thinking I had things figured out. The truth is I haven't figured it out. I am still very much in the process of figuring it out and seeking God's will for my life on a constant basis.
Recently after a difficult and painful break-up, I found myself replaying some of the lessons I've learned along the way, some of the scriptures that have brought me comfort during hard times and some that have challenged me to think differently about decisions that I have made as I seek a relationship that honors God. What I have discovered is there is a lot of truth, love, peace, and wisdom to be found in those passages - all of which have ministered to me in tremendous ways.
It is my desire to now to spend fifty days set apart, taking an intentional break from dating, to focus on those scriptures once again, seeking God's healing in my life and His will for moving forward. I have chosen to share that journey with my friends, with you, because I am more convinced than ever that God did not create us to live life alone, but to share life together and encourage each other as we walk through the trials of life.
I covet your prayers through this time in my life, and I welcome your feedback and comments. I would love to hear your thoughts on my reflections and to see how God has or is working in your life as well.
I'm not quite sure where this journey will lead, but I know that with God, it is certain to be a great adventure!
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