On Death, Dying, and Living Well

There is nothing like contemplating death for giving us a new perspective on life. While I was home for the holidays, I thought about death quite a bit. I thought about it as I left Waco knowing my pastor would likely pass away before I returned to Waco and as I got the news that he had indeed passed away. I thought about it while taking my dad to the hospital when his blood pressure was dangerously high, and we thought he was having another heart attack. I thought about it while visiting my grandmother who continues to decline and inch closer and closer to the other side. I had sweet and special time with my family, maybe particularly sweet given the realization again of how blessed we are for each day together and how quickly death can sneak up on us. Even when we know it’s coming, it is an unwelcome intruder into our lives, robbing us of people near and dear. But death is also peace from suffering and eternal rest in Christ. It is to be present with God in all His glory and to be with Him forever.

The grief is real, though, just as the promises are. I realized while I was home how much I have already grieved my grandmother and how much I already feel the loss of her. I also realized how completely unprepared I am to lose my dad. Dad, I want you around so much. I need your wisdom, your love, and your strength in my life. I still have so much to learn from you. But I know that regardless of what happens in either situation, or with any of my family and friends, I know God is in control and He cares. So as I pondered death & dying, I decided to revisit His words and His truth, seeking solace and peace.

I love that God understands our grief, and even cries with us! He is there when the tears won’t stop. And He is a God of Comfort, who wraps us in His loving arms. I love the assurances He gives us to help us through the tough times. And I love that He is God over death, and God over life, that Jesus came that we might have life abundantly and that we might live fully in Him. The paradox of death is that it is both fully certain, in that it comes to all of us, and uncertain, in that we don’t know when or how it will come. To make our lives count, we must live fully in Him. We must run the race well and fight the good fight.

Here are some passages and verses that particularly spoke to me. If you are dealing with loss in your life, I hope these verses encourage you as much as they encouraged me.

Grief
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
-Psalm 34:17-18

2 The LORD builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the exiles of Israel.
3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
4 He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
-Psalm 127:2-4

1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, my God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
under the protection of the Mighty One[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
among the festive throng.
5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
-Psalm 42:1-5

32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. 35 Jesus wept. 36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” – John 11:32-36

Comfort
4 Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
-Isaiah 46:4

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Assurances
13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words. – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. – John 14:1-3

Living
I have come that they might have life and have it more abundantly. – John 10:10

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:12-14

6 For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. – 2 Timothy 4: 6-8


Do you have other verses that have spoken to you on death, dying, or living well? If so, please share in the comments section below. I would love to hear from you.

Celebrating Love Stories & Engagements

Two of my close friends got engaged over the Thanksgiving holidays. It has been incredible to see the love story that God has written in their lives and in these two relationships. God is a creative and unique God, one that has an unlimited number of ways to bring two people together in Him. I celebrate with them, as both of these couples are seeking God together, and their love is such a celebration of His goodness and His faithfulness, of His abundant blessings and provision.

As I continue the Marriage Feast journey, these two relationships remind me of the goodness of God and the goodness of marriage, of marriage as He intended it to be - a covenant of love & faithfulness, of two hearts and lives coming together as one.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” – Mark 10: 7-9

“I will betroth you to me forever, I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness and you will acknowledge the Lord.” – Hosea 2:19-20

“‘…This kindness you have shown is greater than that which you showed earlier. You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. And now, [Ruth], don’t be afraid. I will do for you all that you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character’….So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife.” – Ruth 3:10-11, 4:13

“…as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” – Isaiah 62:5

Rejoicing & celebrating – that is the picture that God paints of marriage. And I am so happy I get to celebrate with good friends and partake of His goodness. During this season when it is easy to get caught up in holiday single blues, I’m thankful for reminders that God is in the business of writing love stories, wonderful love stories. He has written the greatest love story ever told, the story of a Beloved Redeemer and Savior. And He echoes that story every time He brings two people together in a holy union reflecting His love and faithfulness.

Congratulations, Kevin & Linda and Eva Marie & Moyo, on your engagement! May you feast on God's abundant love and faithfulness, and may God richly bless you as you prepare for your new life together in Him.

A Prayer for Husbands

This post is a continuation of my series of posts in the Marriage Feast. I have blocked out a couple of months to contemplate marriage from God's point of view, acknowledging some of my fears, seeking God's heart & design for marriage, and restoring what had become somewhat of a distorted view of marriage in my life.

Several weeks ago I shared A Prayer for Wives, a prayer I came across on K-Love Radio’s website. It appears it was inspired by the Sanctus Real song, Lead Me. Here is another prayer from this series, A Prayer for Husbands. These prayers provide a glimpse into what that Godly marriage can look like, one built on Christ, with a heart to love & serve each other.

A Prayer for Husbands

Christ Jesus, you have called me to love my wife tenderly and sacrificially, even as you love the church, but too often I know myself to be a selfish man with a distracted heart.

Please give me patience, gentleness, and kindness toward my wife, and the wisdom to value her for her gifts and ideas.

Teach me to be vulnerable with her, openly sharing my own heart and thoughts, hopes and fears, even as I seek to better understand her.

Remind me to be ever mindful of her interests and needs with each decision I make and to structure my life in such a way that she receives the best of my energy and attention, rather than the leftovers.

Give me courage to passionately pursue relationship with her even when I feel wronged or wounded.

Let me become for her a man of tenderness, kindness, creativity, and integrity, protecting and cherishing her by vigilantly guarding my own eyes and heart.

Above all, teach me to lead as you led, Jesus, in humility and service.

Only by your grace can I be a godly man and a good husband for my wife.

Lead me Lord, I pray.

Amen


Source: http://www.klove.com/blog/jd/post/2012/10/25/Prayer-for-Husbands.aspx
"Lead Me" by Sanctus Real Music Video

A Prayer for Wives

This post is a continuation of my series of posts in the Marriage Feast. I have blocked out a couple of months to comtemplate marriage from God's point of view, acknowledging some of my fears, seeking God's heart & design for marriage, and restoring what had become somewhat of a distorted view of marriage in my life.

What does a Godly marriage look like? Over the last month, I have looked at much brokenness in marriage, much that I don't want to do and attributes that I don't want to characterize my marriage, but I have not spent much time considering the attributes of the right kind of marriage.

I am fortunate that I grew up in a Christian family. I grew up watching my parents and my grandparents pray together. What an impression that made on me! And even though neither of their marriages were or are perfect, there is a strength that comes from that prayer, that comes from continuously acknowledging God as a partner in their marriage.

I came across the following prayer and several others that I will share in the coming days on K-Love Radio’s website. It appears they were inspired by the Sanctus Real song, Lead Me. These prayers provide a glimpse into what that Godly marriage can look like, one built on Christ, with a heart to love & serve each other.

A Wife’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, you have called me to honor and serve my husband in grace, humility and love, and yet I so often let worry, insecurity and fear overshadow that calling. Unburden my heart from worry and expectations. Teach me to relinquish control of my life and marriage to you, for only you are strong enough to carry and sustain it.

Lead me to a place of deep trust and intimacy with you, so that I would seek no emotional fulfillment elsewhere, but would bring to my relationship with my husband a rich overflow of confidence and strength, making of our home and marriage a peaceful, restful haven. Show me how best to love my husband, supporting and respecting him, praying for and trusting the work of your Spirit in his heart and life.

Give me the wisdom to value what is eternal, so that I might be truly content with my present circumstances, and not fretful or anxious over family decisions and finances.

Teach me to be beautiful as you define beauty. Let me be a creative and enjoyable friend and companion for my husband, gracious and kind, gently in disagreement and quick to forgive.

Only as you lead me will I become the woman and wife that my husband needs. So lead me, O Lord. Amen.

Source: http://www.klove.com/blog/jd/post/2012/03/07/PRAYER-FOR-WIVES.aspx

Next: A Husband's Prayer

For those of you who are married, how do you pray for each other? What role does God play in your marriage?

If you were writing a prayer for wives, what would your prayer include? I have thoughts & ideas not entirely captured here, maybe too personal to share here. What would that prayer look like for you?

"I Just Never Got Around To It"

“I just never got around to it.”

Haunting words. I was talking to a coworker today, and she was telling me about her & husband’s decision not to have children, or rather their non-decision. They always thought they would have children, maybe next year, or in a couple of years, but, then they just never got around to it. The next thing they knew they were in their forties and then it just seemed like opportunity had passed them by. It wasn’t a decision they consciously made through the years, but one they made year by year when it was just never the right time.

As I was talking with my coworker, she was talking about having children, but I was instantly relating it to getting married. For me, I have just felt it was never the right time or the right relationship, and I enjoy being single. Sometimes I am scared of rocking the boat or scared of what I’ll give up, scared of making bad choices or ending up in a bad marriage. So it becomes too easy to be so okay being single that I get complacent. I just never get around to pursuing a family, seeking out a life partner that God may have for me.

Will I wake up one day and say the opportunity just passed me by? Will I say, “I just never got around to it?” I don’t want that to be true of me.

These last few weeks on this journey have been new for me. It has been refreshing to speak some of my fears out loud, to acknowledge them on paper, and to remember and celebrate God’s goodness in marriage, in the good and the bad. This time of reflection & prayer has challenged me to want marriage more and to be more intentional about seeking out God’s will and direction.

Those words I just wrote – I can’t believe I just wrote them. That’s an uber-vulnerable admission for me. I’m scared of acknowledging that. I don’t want to become discontent being single. And I don’t know if marriage is in my future. And I want the right relationship and the right person. And I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to go through divorce. And I don’t want to settle. Ugh! So many wants and desires and fears all bottled up together….Basically, I want to learn to trust God with my heart – to trust Him in whatever relationship I am in. I want to be free to love as He loves and to let love cast out fear. I want to trust Him and His goodness and be open to whatever He has in store. If that’s marriage, I want it to be a godly marriage that is centered in Him. If that’s not marriage, I can be okay with that too. I just don’t want it to be because “I just never got around to it.”

For my married friends, how did you "get around to marriage?" Did you seek it out intentionally? Or did you just meet the right person?

What do you think it looks like to pursue marriage without being discontent in singleness? Is this possible?