Two of my close friends got engaged over the Thanksgiving holidays. It has been incredible to see the love story that God has written in their lives and in these two relationships. God is a creative and unique God, one that has an unlimited number of ways to bring two people together in Him. I celebrate with them, as both of these couples are seeking God together, and their love is such a celebration of His goodness and His faithfulness, of His abundant blessings and provision.
As I continue the Marriage Feast journey, these two relationships remind me of the goodness of God and the goodness of marriage, of marriage as He intended it to be - a covenant of love & faithfulness, of two hearts and lives coming together as one.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” – Mark 10: 7-9
“I will betroth you to me forever, I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness and you will acknowledge the Lord.” – Hosea 2:19-20
“‘…This kindness you have shown is greater than that which you showed earlier. You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor. And now, [Ruth], don’t be afraid. I will do for you all that you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character’….So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife.” – Ruth 3:10-11, 4:13
“…as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” – Isaiah 62:5
Rejoicing & celebrating – that is the picture that God paints of marriage. And I am so happy I get to celebrate with good friends and partake of His goodness. During this season when it is easy to get caught up in holiday single blues, I’m thankful for reminders that God is in the business of writing love stories, wonderful love stories. He has written the greatest love story ever told, the story of a Beloved Redeemer and Savior. And He echoes that story every time He brings two people together in a holy union reflecting His love and faithfulness.
Congratulations, Kevin & Linda and Eva Marie & Moyo, on your engagement! May you feast on God's abundant love and faithfulness, and may God richly bless you as you prepare for your new life together in Him.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
A Prayer for Husbands
This post is a continuation of my series of posts in the Marriage Feast. I have blocked out a couple of months to contemplate marriage from God's point of view, acknowledging some of my fears, seeking God's heart & design for marriage, and restoring what had become somewhat of a distorted view of marriage in my life.
Several weeks ago I shared A Prayer for Wives, a prayer I came across on K-Love Radio’s website. It appears it was inspired by the Sanctus Real song, Lead Me. Here is another prayer from this series, A Prayer for Husbands. These prayers provide a glimpse into what that Godly marriage can look like, one built on Christ, with a heart to love & serve each other.
A Prayer for Husbands
Christ Jesus, you have called me to love my wife tenderly and sacrificially, even as you love the church, but too often I know myself to be a selfish man with a distracted heart.
Please give me patience, gentleness, and kindness toward my wife, and the wisdom to value her for her gifts and ideas.
Teach me to be vulnerable with her, openly sharing my own heart and thoughts, hopes and fears, even as I seek to better understand her.
Remind me to be ever mindful of her interests and needs with each decision I make and to structure my life in such a way that she receives the best of my energy and attention, rather than the leftovers.
Give me courage to passionately pursue relationship with her even when I feel wronged or wounded.
Let me become for her a man of tenderness, kindness, creativity, and integrity, protecting and cherishing her by vigilantly guarding my own eyes and heart.
Above all, teach me to lead as you led, Jesus, in humility and service.
Only by your grace can I be a godly man and a good husband for my wife.
Lead me Lord, I pray.
Amen
Source: http://www.klove.com/blog/jd/post/2012/10/25/Prayer-for-Husbands.aspx
"Lead Me" by Sanctus Real Music Video
Several weeks ago I shared A Prayer for Wives, a prayer I came across on K-Love Radio’s website. It appears it was inspired by the Sanctus Real song, Lead Me. Here is another prayer from this series, A Prayer for Husbands. These prayers provide a glimpse into what that Godly marriage can look like, one built on Christ, with a heart to love & serve each other.
A Prayer for Husbands
Christ Jesus, you have called me to love my wife tenderly and sacrificially, even as you love the church, but too often I know myself to be a selfish man with a distracted heart.
Please give me patience, gentleness, and kindness toward my wife, and the wisdom to value her for her gifts and ideas.
Teach me to be vulnerable with her, openly sharing my own heart and thoughts, hopes and fears, even as I seek to better understand her.
Remind me to be ever mindful of her interests and needs with each decision I make and to structure my life in such a way that she receives the best of my energy and attention, rather than the leftovers.
Give me courage to passionately pursue relationship with her even when I feel wronged or wounded.
Let me become for her a man of tenderness, kindness, creativity, and integrity, protecting and cherishing her by vigilantly guarding my own eyes and heart.
Above all, teach me to lead as you led, Jesus, in humility and service.
Only by your grace can I be a godly man and a good husband for my wife.
Lead me Lord, I pray.
Amen
Source: http://www.klove.com/blog/jd/post/2012/10/25/Prayer-for-Husbands.aspx
"Lead Me" by Sanctus Real Music Video
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
A Prayer for Wives
This post is a continuation of my series of posts in the Marriage Feast. I have blocked out a couple of months to comtemplate marriage from God's point of view, acknowledging some of my fears, seeking God's heart & design for marriage, and restoring what had become somewhat of a distorted view of marriage in my life.
What does a Godly marriage look like? Over the last month, I have looked at much brokenness in marriage, much that I don't want to do and attributes that I don't want to characterize my marriage, but I have not spent much time considering the attributes of the right kind of marriage.
I am fortunate that I grew up in a Christian family. I grew up watching my parents and my grandparents pray together. What an impression that made on me! And even though neither of their marriages were or are perfect, there is a strength that comes from that prayer, that comes from continuously acknowledging God as a partner in their marriage.
I came across the following prayer and several others that I will share in the coming days on K-Love Radio’s website. It appears they were inspired by the Sanctus Real song, Lead Me. These prayers provide a glimpse into what that Godly marriage can look like, one built on Christ, with a heart to love & serve each other.
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, you have called me to honor and serve my husband in grace, humility and love, and yet I so often let worry, insecurity and fear overshadow that calling. Unburden my heart from worry and expectations. Teach me to relinquish control of my life and marriage to you, for only you are strong enough to carry and sustain it.
Lead me to a place of deep trust and intimacy with you, so that I would seek no emotional fulfillment elsewhere, but would bring to my relationship with my husband a rich overflow of confidence and strength, making of our home and marriage a peaceful, restful haven. Show me how best to love my husband, supporting and respecting him, praying for and trusting the work of your Spirit in his heart and life.
Give me the wisdom to value what is eternal, so that I might be truly content with my present circumstances, and not fretful or anxious over family decisions and finances.
Teach me to be beautiful as you define beauty. Let me be a creative and enjoyable friend and companion for my husband, gracious and kind, gently in disagreement and quick to forgive.
Only as you lead me will I become the woman and wife that my husband needs. So lead me, O Lord. Amen.
Source: http://www.klove.com/blog/jd/post/2012/03/07/PRAYER-FOR-WIVES.aspx
Next: A Husband's Prayer
For those of you who are married, how do you pray for each other? What role does God play in your marriage?
If you were writing a prayer for wives, what would your prayer include? I have thoughts & ideas not entirely captured here, maybe too personal to share here. What would that prayer look like for you?
What does a Godly marriage look like? Over the last month, I have looked at much brokenness in marriage, much that I don't want to do and attributes that I don't want to characterize my marriage, but I have not spent much time considering the attributes of the right kind of marriage.
I am fortunate that I grew up in a Christian family. I grew up watching my parents and my grandparents pray together. What an impression that made on me! And even though neither of their marriages were or are perfect, there is a strength that comes from that prayer, that comes from continuously acknowledging God as a partner in their marriage.
I came across the following prayer and several others that I will share in the coming days on K-Love Radio’s website. It appears they were inspired by the Sanctus Real song, Lead Me. These prayers provide a glimpse into what that Godly marriage can look like, one built on Christ, with a heart to love & serve each other.
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, you have called me to honor and serve my husband in grace, humility and love, and yet I so often let worry, insecurity and fear overshadow that calling. Unburden my heart from worry and expectations. Teach me to relinquish control of my life and marriage to you, for only you are strong enough to carry and sustain it.
Lead me to a place of deep trust and intimacy with you, so that I would seek no emotional fulfillment elsewhere, but would bring to my relationship with my husband a rich overflow of confidence and strength, making of our home and marriage a peaceful, restful haven. Show me how best to love my husband, supporting and respecting him, praying for and trusting the work of your Spirit in his heart and life.
Give me the wisdom to value what is eternal, so that I might be truly content with my present circumstances, and not fretful or anxious over family decisions and finances.
Teach me to be beautiful as you define beauty. Let me be a creative and enjoyable friend and companion for my husband, gracious and kind, gently in disagreement and quick to forgive.
Only as you lead me will I become the woman and wife that my husband needs. So lead me, O Lord. Amen.
Source: http://www.klove.com/blog/jd/post/2012/03/07/PRAYER-FOR-WIVES.aspx
Next: A Husband's Prayer
For those of you who are married, how do you pray for each other? What role does God play in your marriage?
If you were writing a prayer for wives, what would your prayer include? I have thoughts & ideas not entirely captured here, maybe too personal to share here. What would that prayer look like for you?
Thursday, November 1, 2012
"I Just Never Got Around To It"
“I just never got around to it.”
Haunting words. I was talking to a coworker today, and she was telling me about her & husband’s decision not to have children, or rather their non-decision. They always thought they would have children, maybe next year, or in a couple of years, but, then they just never got around to it. The next thing they knew they were in their forties and then it just seemed like opportunity had passed them by. It wasn’t a decision they consciously made through the years, but one they made year by year when it was just never the right time.
As I was talking with my coworker, she was talking about having children, but I was instantly relating it to getting married. For me, I have just felt it was never the right time or the right relationship, and I enjoy being single. Sometimes I am scared of rocking the boat or scared of what I’ll give up, scared of making bad choices or ending up in a bad marriage. So it becomes too easy to be so okay being single that I get complacent. I just never get around to pursuing a family, seeking out a life partner that God may have for me.
Will I wake up one day and say the opportunity just passed me by? Will I say, “I just never got around to it?” I don’t want that to be true of me.
These last few weeks on this journey have been new for me. It has been refreshing to speak some of my fears out loud, to acknowledge them on paper, and to remember and celebrate God’s goodness in marriage, in the good and the bad. This time of reflection & prayer has challenged me to want marriage more and to be more intentional about seeking out God’s will and direction.
Those words I just wrote – I can’t believe I just wrote them. That’s an uber-vulnerable admission for me. I’m scared of acknowledging that. I don’t want to become discontent being single. And I don’t know if marriage is in my future. And I want the right relationship and the right person. And I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to go through divorce. And I don’t want to settle. Ugh! So many wants and desires and fears all bottled up together….Basically, I want to learn to trust God with my heart – to trust Him in whatever relationship I am in. I want to be free to love as He loves and to let love cast out fear. I want to trust Him and His goodness and be open to whatever He has in store. If that’s marriage, I want it to be a godly marriage that is centered in Him. If that’s not marriage, I can be okay with that too. I just don’t want it to be because “I just never got around to it.”
For my married friends, how did you "get around to marriage?" Did you seek it out intentionally? Or did you just meet the right person?
What do you think it looks like to pursue marriage without being discontent in singleness? Is this possible?
Haunting words. I was talking to a coworker today, and she was telling me about her & husband’s decision not to have children, or rather their non-decision. They always thought they would have children, maybe next year, or in a couple of years, but, then they just never got around to it. The next thing they knew they were in their forties and then it just seemed like opportunity had passed them by. It wasn’t a decision they consciously made through the years, but one they made year by year when it was just never the right time.
As I was talking with my coworker, she was talking about having children, but I was instantly relating it to getting married. For me, I have just felt it was never the right time or the right relationship, and I enjoy being single. Sometimes I am scared of rocking the boat or scared of what I’ll give up, scared of making bad choices or ending up in a bad marriage. So it becomes too easy to be so okay being single that I get complacent. I just never get around to pursuing a family, seeking out a life partner that God may have for me.
Will I wake up one day and say the opportunity just passed me by? Will I say, “I just never got around to it?” I don’t want that to be true of me.
These last few weeks on this journey have been new for me. It has been refreshing to speak some of my fears out loud, to acknowledge them on paper, and to remember and celebrate God’s goodness in marriage, in the good and the bad. This time of reflection & prayer has challenged me to want marriage more and to be more intentional about seeking out God’s will and direction.
Those words I just wrote – I can’t believe I just wrote them. That’s an uber-vulnerable admission for me. I’m scared of acknowledging that. I don’t want to become discontent being single. And I don’t know if marriage is in my future. And I want the right relationship and the right person. And I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to go through divorce. And I don’t want to settle. Ugh! So many wants and desires and fears all bottled up together….Basically, I want to learn to trust God with my heart – to trust Him in whatever relationship I am in. I want to be free to love as He loves and to let love cast out fear. I want to trust Him and His goodness and be open to whatever He has in store. If that’s marriage, I want it to be a godly marriage that is centered in Him. If that’s not marriage, I can be okay with that too. I just don’t want it to be because “I just never got around to it.”
For my married friends, how did you "get around to marriage?" Did you seek it out intentionally? Or did you just meet the right person?
What do you think it looks like to pursue marriage without being discontent in singleness? Is this possible?
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
For Better & For Worse - Moving Beyond the Worst
Over the last week, I have looked at some of the worst aspects of marriage, the brokenness and the hurt that is left in the aftermath of broken promises and abused trust. And I have only dealt with two topics – pornography and money. I haven’t even gotten to adultery and abuse, abandonment and apathy. I can introduce you to many more of my friends and their stories.
Like my friend Ellie, whose husband just decided one day that he didn’t want to be married anymore, or my friend Carol, whose husband left to “find himself.” Meet my friend Erika who found herself in an abusive relationship, characterized by fear instead of love. And meet my friend Andy whose wife constantly complains about him, or Steve who constantly complains about his wife. Meet my friend Leigh who has let years of bitterness and resentment build up between her and her husband, or my friend Danny who struggles to remember what he loves about his wife.
The truth is there are many evils that can take root in marriage, much bitterness, deep wrongs, and broken promises. Oh the promises – they sound so good on the wedding day…
I do solemnly take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
…but oh, to live those promises out is much harder I’m afraid. To have a marriage where both spouses choose to love and to cherish each other, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of money or distractions, to commit to be with each other, to share life together as one for the rest of their lives – that is much harder. That’s a God-level commitment that we can’t make on our own.
We are flawed, imperfect people, and even when it is the last thing we want to do or intend to do, we inevitably let each other down. We fail. Sometimes we slip, and sometimes we utterly fall. But, praise God, He is a God of grace and a God who restores and redeems! He is a God who gives us strength and makes the impossible, possible in Him.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13As I ponder these promises from God’s word, I have hope, hope in spite of broken human promises, hope in the faithfulness of God, in the strength of God, in the sovereignty of God. Marriage is a promise before God, but it is ultimately a covenant with God.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, and will bring you back from captivity.” – Jeremiah 29:11-14
“Unless the Lord builds the house, he who labors, labors in vain.” – Psalm 127:1
God, I am utterly incapable of loving as you loved. But as I seek you, may your love of me transform my life and this relationship. Enable me, us, to love each other as you have loved us, to be faithful and true, to be patient and kind, to act with integrity and intentionality, with gratitude and kindness. Let no bitterness or resentment set in, root out all apathy and complacency. Fill us with who you are and allow us to feast on your goodness in our marriage, day by day, from this day forward.
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