Conquering the Hills - Benchmark Race #2

Saturday was race day - the Governor's Cup 8K. I ran this race last year, so I knew I was in for a challenge. The 5 mile route is hilly, with some nice downhill sections but also some uphill treks. Last year, I didn't know what to expect. I hadn't previewed the course, so I didn't know about mile 4. Mile 4 is the runner's arch nemesis, a steep prolonged incline at the end of the course. Already tired from the previous miles, mile 4 is a test of wills to see how badly you want to make it to the finish line. Last year, I didn't want it bad enough. I was exhausted and gave in, walking my way through the final mile and feeling utterly defeated. This year, I wanted redemption badly, and I wanted to conquer the defeat of last year and wanted to finish strong.

As I prepared for Saturday, that hill was in the forefront of my mind, the daunting challenge awaiting me at the end of the race. I knew it was coming; I was ready for it this time... or so I thought. I started strong, but made sure to conserve energy. I coasted through mile 3 and summoned my resolve for hill 4. As I started up the incline, though, my calves started burning, my legs started aching. Others around me were walking. Fatigue was setting in. Doubt was setting in. And before I knew it, I was thinking about giving up, again.

But I didn't. This time, my resolve was firm. I wanted it badly. I focused on the finish line, even though I couldn't see it. I thought about how often I give up and give in to doubt or choose to settle for less than God's best. I want more out of life that that, even when it requires sacrifice, even when it hurts, even when I can't see the end in sight. I want to trust that God has good things in store, that He is glorified in my efforts when I give my all and trust Him to sustain me, to strengthen me, to see me through to the other side.

I finished strong yesterday, and I learned something about myself in the process. I also experienced again God as Sustainer and Provider, the one who gives strength to the weary who press on toward the prize.

Please pray for me as I continue on this journey to the half. from here on out, I will be pushing my limits and my distance. I have never run further than 5 miles. I am venturing into unfamiliar territory and daunting distances. But I so want to glorify God in my running and in my training. Pray that I will be disciplined and available and for warmth during cold runs. :)

Have a great week!

ELP

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

Sometimes I stare into the mirror and seek validation. I want to see me at my best, all my effort and all my strengths. I try to block out all the blemishes (and freckles), all the mismatched clothes, all the parts of me that I don’t like. The mirror doesn’t lie, good or bad; it doesn’t take sides or flatter. It just reflects what is really there.

I wish what I saw looking back at me was less of me and more of Christ. I wish that was the reality in my life, more of His joy, more of His peace, more of His love. I wish when people looked at me that they would see more of Him. I wish I didn’t get so caught up in my life, my wants, and my frustrations. I want a heart that mirrors His, a life that reflects Him and His glory.

This training has been part of God’s chiseling process in my life. The desire to run this race began with the passion to do something more, first as Carolyn’s passion then as mine. We both have the desire to raise money for Samaritan’s Purse, and even more so to offer our running as an offering to God, a way that we can glorify Him with the desires of our heart.

There have been many times in my life when the desires of my heart have not honored God – times when I have been completely selfish and sinful and closed off to the people around me. There have been times I have intentionally closed my eyes to the needs of others and sat on the sidelines versus getting involved in what God was doing or might want to do in or around me.

When I went to Nicaragua this summer, I was so completely uncomfortable not letting it be about me, and so completely inadequate to respond to the overwhelming need around me. God did some amazing things there but I still felt on the sidelines, not sure how to respond or what to do. I think about that even now, the needs that exist everywhere, and so often I close my eyes and my heart. I want to open my eyes and my heart – I want to see and to care. I want to be different.

And so I run. And I run with purpose, to glorify God and to help those in need. I choose to support Samaritan’s Purse because they not only see those needs but they work all over the world to meet those needs in Jesus’ name, with disaster relief, fighting sex slavery, providing drinking water, reaching out to the poor and the needy, sharing God’s love and His truth.

The running is slow going, particularly in the cold. I ran five miles yesterday to get ready for the Governors’ Cup 8K next Saturday. Then I proceeded to get sick for the rest of the day. Ugh. Please pray for me and for Carolyn and for the others running with us. Pray that God would be honored in our running and our training. Pray that as He prepares us physically for this race in February that He would prepare us spiritually for all that He has in store for us. And pray that as we raise awareness and support of Samaritan’s Purse that we would all open our eyes and our hearts to those in need around us, that we would be mirrors reflecting the love and the truth of Christ.

Finishing Well

I started a new book this weekend and the first chapter was on finishing well. I found that quite ironic… why start with a message about finishing well? As I thought more about it, though, I realized that maybe it made more sense than I originally thought.

If we want to finish well, we have to start with the end in mind. We have to start with a goal, a purpose, a passion that drives us to complete the task, whatever obstacles we may face. We have to have something that helps us keep going when things get tough or when it doesn’t look like we are going to be successful.

Sometimes I want to do big things, great things for God. Sometimes I dream the dream, I talk the talk, only to find that I don’t know how to get started, how to keep going, how to finish and how to accomplish much of anything. All the mundane stuff of everyday life gets in the way, other priorities come up. Before I know it, I shove my God-sized dreams into a bottom drawer and out of the way. They were never meant to be anyway, I reason to myself. I’ll never know, though, because I never trusted God enough to step out, sort through the details, and direct my path.

I feel like that about my running right now. I have had a hard time getting started, getting focused on this half-marathon training. All the excitement and the God-sized dreams seem distant. The details are hard to work out. It’s challenging to get together with the group to run, the early nights and the cooler weather discourage me. The fun of the journey has given away to the very real challenge, and it seems overwhelming.

But then I remember about starting out on this journey. It started with the passion of a student and a God-given desire to run. She wanted to run this race and to raise money for Samaritan’s Purse. Her passion was contagious, and it was easy to get excited because she was excited. And then God starting working in it and other people got excited and before long, we were dreaming big dreams, not for ourselves, but maybe possibly what God could do through us. I remember thinking it sounded crazy, daunting, completely overwhelming, and I think that is what excited me about it. I knew it was something that was completely over my head and what I was capable of my own. I was drawn to the God-size challenge before me.

Somewhere along the way though, I lost that wonder of wanting to see what God could do. Like Peter, I took my eyes off Jesus and starting looking at the waves. And I started sinking, and all the dreams started sinking too.

I don’t think that book chapter was a coincidence today. When all is said and done, I want to finish well. I don’t know if I will be able to run this race, or if our group will be able to raise some tremendous sum of money. But I want to trust God to write the story, to work out the details. Regardless of how it turns out, I think God has something to teach me about trusting Him for the God-sized dreams and challenges in my life. I choose not to give up on Him and not to give up on those. It may or may not turn out the way I like, but I want to be faithful to run the race, to run a good race, and to do my part so He can be faithful to do His.

Philippians 3:14 – “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Benchmark 1 - Mission Accomplished!

Last Saturday, I ran the Ray Tanner 5K, the first of three benchmark races I have set for myself to help me prepare for the 13.1 miles in February. I was running in honor of my grandmother, who told me that she was running with me in spirit. I missed my personal record by 2 seconds. I was disappointed to fall short of my PR but relieved to run a good race. They gave all the runners medals at the end of the race, and it was very cool to be able to give mine to my grandmother. I wrote 2 Timothy 4:7 on the back, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." Very fitting and appropriate words for my grandmother, who has lived an incredible life committed to Christ, full of joy and love, investing in the lives of others and being a faithful prayer warrior standing in the gap for those in need.

Those are words that I very much want to be true in my life. Sometimes I can look back and see how God has led me along the course, and others I see detours I took along the way, or unexpected hilly terrain that throws me off track. I've been there lately, feeling exhausted and not really sure where the road ahead leads. I've been wondering how much further until a break or a water stop, or trying to catch a glimpse of the final destination. I wonder if I am on the right path, or if I should be somewhere else. I want to be on the right course. I so want to be faithful, living abundantly and faithfully for Him, taking each step in line with His will. I want to sense His pleasure and His blessing in my life. I want, I need to rest in His security and His peace that even when I can't see the course ahead, He is guiding me and preparing me for whatever lies ahead.

The verse that reverberate in my mind today is Isaiah 40:31 - "But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They will mount up on wings as eagles. They shall run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint."

It is in His strength that I continue running, both the race of daily life, sorting out His plans for my future, and in training for the half. I finished the first race, the 5K. Another challenge lies ahead, the Governor's Cup 8K, that is a much more hilly course. Last year, it got the best of me. I am hoping to do better this year and to be more prepared for the challenge. It is the next stop along the way to 13.1. Hopefully, I'll see you at the finish line. Thanks for sharing this journey with me!

Giving Back & Running Forward

It has been two months since my trip to Nicaragua. I was amazed and startled at how easily I just went back to my life. My routines didn’t change much, my perspective didn’t change much, honestly my life didn’t change much. Of course, it is not all about me, so then I started thinking about what changed there. We had so little to give, but we gave what we had – our time, our talents, toiletry packets, love, attention. We ministered to them, met some of their short-term needs, and planted lots of seeds with conversations about Christ and the church. We made a difference, even though sometimes it seems so small in comparison to the need.

Since I have been back, though, I have wanted to do more. I develop programs – that’s what I do. I problem-solve to address needs, to educate, to produce change & growth. I connect people with resources and people who can help. And while I don’t have the time to go on longer trips myself right now, or to do longer-term work there, I know that effective programs take time, take passion, take resources. I want to invest in the people who work in communities like the barrio we visited, people who are serving and ministering long-term in the area, cultivating relationships for Christ and making a substantial difference in individual lives and the communities they serve.

John Smoak, from Shandon Baptist, is one such man. His organization Unto Me International is working with local churches there to sponsor children in the area – buying uniforms for school, food for their families, and giving them the opportunity for a better life. If you have not done so already, please visit his website – http://untomeinternational.com or link to his Facebook page from this group’s main page. Many of the children in the pictures are children that I met during my trip. His program is making a huge difference in the area.

Samaritan’s Purse is another organization that works in impoverished communities and makes a huge difference changing lives for Christ. Many of us know about Operation Christmas Child and the shoeboxes they collect at Christmas time for children around the world. They also have a visible long-term presence in developing communities and do substantial work meeting the physical and spiritual needs of others.

A group of faculty, staff, and students at Columbia College are training for a half-marathon in February to raise money for Samaritan’s Purse. It is a huge undertaking and a little bit overwhelming. 13.1 miles is an intimidating distance. But, we want to be involved and to invest in organization that is doing work that makes a difference.

Our training is just getting started. I am hoping to send out regular updates to this group, as I did with the Nicaragua trip, so I can share this journey with you as well. The two experiences are inextricably related in my eyes, as God continues to give me His eyes and His compassion for those less fortunate than us. I have also started a blog – http://runningfast131.blogspot.com where you find previous posts and get additional information about our training and group.

Thank you for sharing life with me and allowing me to share my journey with you. Please do share your thoughts and reflections with me. I would love for us to have conversations along the way.

Have a great week!

In Christ,

Erin