Almost a month ago to the day, I hurt my ankle. I ended up missing over three weeks of training for the Heart & Sole 5 miler, a race that I had been talking about since the fall. As I started running again last week, I really thought it was too late, that I had missed too much time to be able to run and finish. I was planning on sitting it out and just waiting until the next 5k. My Fleet Feet running mates encouraged me to come out and do it, though, to take it easy and just do the best I could. I was scared of disappointing myself or re-injuring my ankle, but I decided to give it a try anyway.
And so this morning I ran the race. And I ran it, all of it, the longest run I have completed in over a month. Although there are other races that I have completed with faster times, as I crossed the finish line today, I thought about how much more special this one is, especially after overcoming the injury and overcoming some serious self-doubt. It was sweet to complete it, so sweet.
As I came home and started thinking about the experience, I am just reminded again of how much running for me is a metaphor for life. I was thinking about how God has set a course for us to run, and He sent His Son to make us eligible for the race. As we start out on the journey, there is much celebrating and festivity. As we continue on the course, though, there are some tough spots, where the sun is beating down and steep hills (like Gervais St) discourage us. There are times we are offered detours along the way (Three mile walkers, turn left here) and have to decide if we are going to stay the course or not.
Each time, though, when I thought I couldn't go anymore, right then, it seemed like there was a water stop, a time to pause and replenish and soak in the mist (a time of revival and restoration). There were volunteers along the course (church family), cheering me on, cheering us on. Seeing their energy and sensing their encouragement gave me fuel to keep going. About mile marker three, there was a section of the course where you could see the ones who were far ahead (mature Christians). As they passed by, they had words of encouragement too. That encouragement meant the most - seeing the ones that were further along the course, the ones who had gone before us, the ones who knew the way and had travelled the path before.
All the while we are running, we have to keep our focus on the finish line, and the one there to meet us. Today it was a guy with a bucket of roses... in the future, it will be the One ready to welcome us home, the author and perfecter of our faith, the One who go befores us, the One who goes with us, the One who keeps us on course for His best and for ours.
I did not set a personal record today... but I did something even more special. I showed myself what Heart and Soul are really all about - committing to run the race Christ has set before us and sharing that journey with others, being encouraged by them when we are weak, and encouraging others when we are strong.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
(Untitled)
penned up inside
refused voice
refused ink
destined to be felt deeply
to serve purpose
to remind
to hurt
to ache endlessly
to love truly
to keep alive
the feeling -
and yet, still words.
~erin, 1996
refused voice
refused ink
destined to be felt deeply
to serve purpose
to remind
to hurt
to ache endlessly
to love truly
to keep alive
the feeling -
and yet, still words.
~erin, 1996
The Whole of My Sin
In a hole to start with,
trying to escape -
keep digging, digging, digging
only deeper and deeper I go.
One-time feeling evolves into state of mind
Can't get out, trapped in it's grasp;
let go, let go, got to get out.
Can't be done, in too deep
no visible answer, no ladder around
As giving up Hope and Fate to give in,
Sudden release, Savior indeed;
freedom at last from the hole of my sin.
~erin, 1994
trying to escape -
keep digging, digging, digging
only deeper and deeper I go.
One-time feeling evolves into state of mind
Can't get out, trapped in it's grasp;
let go, let go, got to get out.
Can't be done, in too deep
no visible answer, no ladder around
As giving up Hope and Fate to give in,
Sudden release, Savior indeed;
freedom at last from the hole of my sin.
~erin, 1994
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Destination: GOD'S WILL
For the new year, I am not beginning a new journey, but rather continuing an old one. I am once again in search of God’s Will for my life…
Sometimes I picture arriving at my destination as arriving to a new town – perhaps, God’s Will, South Carolina, population 828. I occasionally pass a couple of signs that say God’s Will, stay right, or Expressway to God’s Purposes, 25 miles ahead. I have run into some construction zones– new character development in progress, detour 2 years, or passageway to Humility (a necessary rest stop) temporarily blocked by pride. Sometimes I have chosen to take the path of Forgiveness or Love and it brings me closer; other times I opt to bypass Patience (rumored to be a long but direct route) and end up further away. A path called Prayer seems to illuminate the often dark roads, helping me to see the next steps; even more clarity comes from travelling the way of the Word.
Sometimes, though, the destination seems illusive, just a little out of reach. Maybe I’m close, maybe I’m already there, maybe I still have a ways to travel. I can’t really tell. Each step in Faith, though, encourages me to continue the journey. And then as I keep asking, searching, and waiting, I realize what my Guide has been trying to tell me all along – God’s Will does not have a zip code. There is no X marking the spot on my treasure map. Rather, God’s Will is found in trusting my Guide, obeying His clear direction even when I can’t see the path ahead. Sometimes there is a clear right direction that He wants to lead me in. Other times He wants me to just stay with Him, to walk with Him, wherever the path leads - through good times or bad, through understanding or confusion, through joy or pain.
I realize that part of God’s Will is relationship and fellowship, being instead of doing, following instead of leading. That’s a rather new journey for me, one that is a little different from my past attempts to get to God’s Will by deciphering the map myself. In some ways, it is harder because I have to realize I don’t have the map. My Guide does. That journey is much newer to me, handing over control to Him, trusting Him every step of the way.
As I ponder the route to God’s Will, I found the following passages helpful. Perhaps they will help you as well:
• Knowing in part – I Corinthians 13:12
• Pre-requisite – Romans 12:1-2
• Clear direction – 1 Thessalonians 4:3
• Straight paths – Proverbs 3:5-6
• Praying for God’s Will – Colossians 1:9-10
• Praying for God’s Will – Matthew 6:10
• God’s Purpose – Philippians 2:13
• Understanding – Ephesians 5:17
• Desire to do God’s Will – Psalm 40:8
• Training required – Psalm 143:10
• My Guide – Psalm 25:4-5
• My Guide – Psalm 73:23-24
• Clear Direction – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Sometimes I picture arriving at my destination as arriving to a new town – perhaps, God’s Will, South Carolina, population 828. I occasionally pass a couple of signs that say God’s Will, stay right, or Expressway to God’s Purposes, 25 miles ahead. I have run into some construction zones– new character development in progress, detour 2 years, or passageway to Humility (a necessary rest stop) temporarily blocked by pride. Sometimes I have chosen to take the path of Forgiveness or Love and it brings me closer; other times I opt to bypass Patience (rumored to be a long but direct route) and end up further away. A path called Prayer seems to illuminate the often dark roads, helping me to see the next steps; even more clarity comes from travelling the way of the Word.
Sometimes, though, the destination seems illusive, just a little out of reach. Maybe I’m close, maybe I’m already there, maybe I still have a ways to travel. I can’t really tell. Each step in Faith, though, encourages me to continue the journey. And then as I keep asking, searching, and waiting, I realize what my Guide has been trying to tell me all along – God’s Will does not have a zip code. There is no X marking the spot on my treasure map. Rather, God’s Will is found in trusting my Guide, obeying His clear direction even when I can’t see the path ahead. Sometimes there is a clear right direction that He wants to lead me in. Other times He wants me to just stay with Him, to walk with Him, wherever the path leads - through good times or bad, through understanding or confusion, through joy or pain.
I realize that part of God’s Will is relationship and fellowship, being instead of doing, following instead of leading. That’s a rather new journey for me, one that is a little different from my past attempts to get to God’s Will by deciphering the map myself. In some ways, it is harder because I have to realize I don’t have the map. My Guide does. That journey is much newer to me, handing over control to Him, trusting Him every step of the way.
As I ponder the route to God’s Will, I found the following passages helpful. Perhaps they will help you as well:
• Knowing in part – I Corinthians 13:12
• Pre-requisite – Romans 12:1-2
• Clear direction – 1 Thessalonians 4:3
• Straight paths – Proverbs 3:5-6
• Praying for God’s Will – Colossians 1:9-10
• Praying for God’s Will – Matthew 6:10
• God’s Purpose – Philippians 2:13
• Understanding – Ephesians 5:17
• Desire to do God’s Will – Psalm 40:8
• Training required – Psalm 143:10
• My Guide – Psalm 25:4-5
• My Guide – Psalm 73:23-24
• Clear Direction – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Sunday, December 13, 2009
In Search of a Nickname...
I think of Jesus’ name, which means He Saves, and His other name, Emmanuel, which means God With Us. The names were chosen because of who He would be on Earth, centered in His identity and the role that God had ordained for Him.
My given name, Erin, means peace, peacemaker. I’ve always taken it as a personal charge, in a manner of speaking to live up to my name, to pursue peace and to do all in my power to live in peace with others. My parents chose it because it fit well with Eric, my brother’s name, and it was easy to spell. Sometimes, I think of it, though, as if God ordained it for me, that He chose it as a primary part of who He created me to be.
I have to tell you, I was never really into nicknames. I always thought they were silly and childish. My mom used to call me Sissy all the time… it drove me crazy! She’s probably the only person that could get away with calling me by that name; for anyone else, it was fighting words. The rest of my family always called me Erin Leigh, and for the most part, they still do. I know I’m home when I get both names. No other nicknames ever really stuck.
Sometimes I think it would be cool to have a good nickname. I hear friends tell the stories of how they came up with nicknames, about how friends affectionately played off a strength or a quirk, or a funny story. When they share the stories, the name seems rooted in a common past, in the deep roots of many years spent together, different seasons of life, and a deep knowledge and appreciation of the person. The name almost seems to denote a bond, a special connection that is not always obvious to others, like an inside secret that is only revealed to close friends and acquaintances. Sometimes there is a nickname without a story, a name that just caught on. But usually, there is something behind the name… something more.
Maybe that’s what I want, the something more, a name rooted in what other people see in me. Something funny, something meaningful, something quirky… something that says this is me, unapologetically me, given to me by people who unexplainably accept me, for me, quirks and all. Just as I sometimes picture my given name as specially chosen by God, sometimes I think it would be cool to have a name specially chosen by my friends, by the people who know me the best; I think it would be nice to know what they see in me, what defining quality or quirk sets me apart from all the other Erins (or Aarons) in the world.
So, here’s my question, friends… what should my name be? What nickname would you give me and what would it say about who I am?
My given name, Erin, means peace, peacemaker. I’ve always taken it as a personal charge, in a manner of speaking to live up to my name, to pursue peace and to do all in my power to live in peace with others. My parents chose it because it fit well with Eric, my brother’s name, and it was easy to spell. Sometimes, I think of it, though, as if God ordained it for me, that He chose it as a primary part of who He created me to be.
I have to tell you, I was never really into nicknames. I always thought they were silly and childish. My mom used to call me Sissy all the time… it drove me crazy! She’s probably the only person that could get away with calling me by that name; for anyone else, it was fighting words. The rest of my family always called me Erin Leigh, and for the most part, they still do. I know I’m home when I get both names. No other nicknames ever really stuck.
Sometimes I think it would be cool to have a good nickname. I hear friends tell the stories of how they came up with nicknames, about how friends affectionately played off a strength or a quirk, or a funny story. When they share the stories, the name seems rooted in a common past, in the deep roots of many years spent together, different seasons of life, and a deep knowledge and appreciation of the person. The name almost seems to denote a bond, a special connection that is not always obvious to others, like an inside secret that is only revealed to close friends and acquaintances. Sometimes there is a nickname without a story, a name that just caught on. But usually, there is something behind the name… something more.
Maybe that’s what I want, the something more, a name rooted in what other people see in me. Something funny, something meaningful, something quirky… something that says this is me, unapologetically me, given to me by people who unexplainably accept me, for me, quirks and all. Just as I sometimes picture my given name as specially chosen by God, sometimes I think it would be cool to have a name specially chosen by my friends, by the people who know me the best; I think it would be nice to know what they see in me, what defining quality or quirk sets me apart from all the other Erins (or Aarons) in the world.
So, here’s my question, friends… what should my name be? What nickname would you give me and what would it say about who I am?
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