The Bittersweet Truth

Warning – For those of you with a sweet tooth, this post may cause unintended harm. It may interfere with your ability to derive pleasure from some of your favorite foods and may limit your desired consumption levels of sweets. Read at your own risk but for your own benefit!

A couple of months ago, I signed up for a wellness program at work called Naturally Slim. I started it because I wanted to eat better and get rid of some bad habits – like skipping meals in lieu of raiding the candy dish at work constantly. One of the first challenges the program laid out was to avoid sweets and limit sugar for three weeks. I thought I had signed up for the wrong program! I love my cookies and brownies and candy, my sweet tea and Dr Pepper. I’ve never even considered giving those up. Those are some of my favorite foods. However, since it was just a temporary request – three weeks – I decided to give it a try. Then I was sure I would go right back to my old habits.

Little did I know that this journey would become something else entirely and that I wouldn’t want to go back to my old habits.
Week one, every meeting I go to, there are sweets available, and they are calling my name. Cookies, brownies, sodas, you name it. I am so tempted. I am craving them, but I resist. I have to see this experiment through.

Week two, I survived the initial withdrawal and start to be okay without them. I sense that I have more energy and the cravings are not nearly as intense. I can do this… but again, why would anyone want to do this long-term?

Week three, I completely have this under control, so now I can cheat and have a cookie, right? LOL Well, I do cheat and have a cookie, but I am shocked that it doesn’t taste good to me. It wasn’t even worth cheating for. What?! So, of course, I have to experiment again, so I have a Dr Pepper, one of my favorite drinks – it wasn’t good either. What?! My tastes are really changing. I’m completely surprised at how quickly I lost a taste for some of my favorite sweets.

Week four, I go to the dentist and I get the best report ever. My hygienist is completely surprised at how good my teeth look – I’ve never had that happen before. Then I see a report on the news that sugar causes the mouth to release acid which in turn leads to tooth decay. Now I knew that sugar leads to tooth decay, but I didn’t know the acid immediately starts eating at your teeth as soon as you eat sugar. I always thought it was more of a long-term effect. Could my good dentist report be in part because I have reduced my sugar intake? Coincidence or not – I’ll take it.

Week five, I go to the store and fit into a size 6 dress – the first time that has happened in years! (See center picture above.) I feel much better, have more energy, and starting to wonder exactly how bad all this sugar has been for me. I had no idea of all the consequences. I start to get angry that no one told me sooner.

About 7-8 years ago, I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic. My doctor was befuddled because I didn’t exhibit any of the normal risk factors for diabetes. He asked me about my diet, but it didn’t seem like I ate a lot of sugar. I never eat more than one doughnut, for example, and I don’t eat multiple candy bars at once. I don’t do a lot of the things that seem like a high sugar intake. Did you know, though, that a can of soda has 10 tsp of sugar, 17 tsp in a 20 oz bottle? I am a runner, and chocolate milk is one of the best post-run drinks and one of my favorites. Did you know though that a pint of chocolate milk has 54g of sugar? These numbers astound me. Not because I didn’t know that foods have sugar – I just didn’t realize how much and how pervasive it is. Baby food even has 4 tsp of sugar. Really?

All these years later, it makes much more sense to me. I had no idea I was as addicted to sugar as I was, and I had no idea how much sugar I was consuming in my diet without knowing it. I didn’t know that my body couldn’t manage the amount of insulin my body was producing to keep up with my sugar intake.

All the low fat foods that are marketed as being healthy – not so, they just compensate sugar for fat – and sugar is just as bad if not worse. Plus, the average person on a low fat diet consumes 400-500 more calories than someone not on a low fat diet. We tend to eat more maybe because we give ourselves credit for the “low fat choices.” I am angry at myself for not thinking it mattered when I ate multiple sweets a day, when I thought I deserved it. I am angry that sugar is so interwoven in our foods and our culture that avoiding it is really hard – that our office candy bowl is almost always full, that hospitality is just necessarily linked with food, that we market holidays like Valentine’s Day, Halloween, and Easter with unlimited sweets, sugary confections that are not really a gift but a curse. The trick is on us, dear friends.

It doesn’t mean that we have to give sweets up entirely. That is what I was afraid of when I started this journey, and I wanted to opt out of that option very quickly. What it does mean is that I need to pay attention to my sugar intake. I need to save the sweets for the special occasions not the everyday, multiple times of the day staple. And when I do eat sugar, I need to balance it out with protein which helps the body process it. Even with natural sugars, like apples, are much healthier when eaten with protein like peanut butter. Who knew?

Well, now I know the bittersweet truth about sugar. I plan to keep my distance and only have an occasional fling with a good dessert. I am breaking off the intimate relationship. The three week challenge was over awhile ago, but I don’t want to go back to my old habits. I can live without my daily Dr Pepper and even my cookies, because in the end, I can now say they are not worth it and that, my friend, is the bittersweet truth.

For more information on the Naturally Slim program, check out their website here.

Seeking a Heart Like His - Through Grief

For those of you who don’t know, I am currently doing a Beth Moore Bible study on David. This study is so rich and has prompted my thinking in so many ways about what it meant for David to be a man after God’s own heart and what it means to me to be a woman after God’s own heart.

It’s been hard to find time for writing lately, so it’s been awhile since I’ve caught you up on David. So much has happened – we last left David in the difficult time of waiting, waiting to be king, waiting to step into God’s purpose in his life, and running from King Saul.

After years on the run, David finds himself almost at home in enemy territory, the land of the Philistines (1 Samuel 27). When the Philistines prepare to fight Israel, David and his men prepare to join them (1 Samuel 29). The king trusts David, but the other Philistine leaders do not. They send David & his men back home – thankfully. Can you imagine fighting against the people you are supposed to lead? What kind of political campaign would that create?

But when David & his men return to Ziklag, they find tragedy. Their wives, sons & daughters have all been taken; the city of Ziklag was burned to the ground. Nothing was left. Sheer devastation. Sheer grief.

“So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep” (1 Samuel 30:4).

At this point, could things get any worse for David? God is supposed to have good plans for his life, but he’s been on the run, Saul has been trying to kill him, and now his family is taken from him, and he and his men are exhausted and grief-stricken.
There are moments when all we can do is weep, when words seem completely inadequate, when our world comes crashing down, loss sets in and everything changes.

In those moments how comforting it is to know that we have a God that weeps along with us (see John 11:35). Even when Jesus knew the end of the story, even though He knew the good plans God had in store, He wept right along with Mary & Martha over the loss of their brother. In the time of our deepest grief and mourning, Jesus is right there with us, “a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering” (Isaiah 53:3a). He shares our grief and our struggles. He doesn’t leave us alone.

And He didn’t leave David alone. “David found strength in the Lord his God” (1 Samuel 30:6b). David cried out to Him and God responded by giving Him strength and wisdom, and God led David into battle, giving him victory over the Amalekites (the bad guys) and freeing all the hostages.

A chapter later, David loses his best friend Jonathan and mourns the death of King Saul. The grief kept piling on. But God was always present, and He continued to give David strength. He is always present with us. And He cares. He evens weeps along with us. God is good. He works all things out for good (Romans 8:28), but we have to trust Him even when we can’t see the good, even in the midst of our grief.

This has been so true in my life. Moving is a different kind of grief, and for months after moving to Texas I was overwhelmed by the sense of loss in my life – friends, family, community. But God gave me strength and His presence has been so real in my life. I’ve now been here a year and I can see how He works it all out for good. He is still writing the story, but it’s a good story, even through the challenging times.

How has God strengthened you during times of grief? Have you felt Him crying with you?

Be encouraged. “I tell you the truth…you will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy” (John 16:20).

Next, we follow David to the throne and to success and praise... Stay tuned! I have a lot of catching up to do.

A Christmas Story - Little Wolff & the Christmas Shoe

Adapted from Little Gretel and the Wooden Shoe by Elizabeth Harrison
View Original Version here


Once upon a time in a far away land, lived a little boy named Wolff. The name didn’t fit the boy at all, as he was as gentle as a lamb, a good-natured lad with a caring and generous spirit about him. But, both of his parents died unexpectedly when he was a toddler, and he was forced to go live with his evil Aunt May.

Evil Aunt May hadn’t always been evil. She used to be a fun-loving generous person herself. But after her husband died, her love of life did too, and she wore her misery in a wrap of bitterness and hatred. The last thing she wanted was to take in this young boy – how would she support him? He always pestered her with questions and more than once she had to yell at him about poking his nose in where it didn’t belong. One time she caught him with a quarter in his hand. He wanted to buy a piece of candy with it. “Give that to me,” she yelled. “That’s money to go in the bank. How do you think I feed you?”
The truth was she had money. The problem was she never felt she had enough. She was quite wealthy compared to most people in that day, but she would hear none of it. She was a stingy mean old miser who wouldn’t spend a dime if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. And necessary had to fit a her definition.

The one luxury that she allowed Wolff was to go to a private school. Even that, wasn’t for his benefit or because he deserved it. She just wanted to ensure that she wouldn’t have to support him forever, so she wanted to make sure he could get a job, even better if he could get a wealthy benefactor to take notice of him and take him off her hands for good.
So, little boy Wolff, excited and terrified about starting at this new school, wondered what it would be like. Would the other kids like him? Would he make friends? He heard rumors of sports – maybe they would let him play. He had always been forbidden before, but maybe now. Maybe.

On his first day of school, his excitement turned to embarrassment as he saw all of his classmates in new clothes. He stood out something awful in his old rags. But Aunt May wouldn’t buy him any new clothes. She would hear none of it. She said she was already investing too much money in him. His classmates stared at him something odd, like he really didn’t fit in. But young Wolff smiled anyway and decided they would probably warm up to him. They never did, but young Wolff never stopped trying.

Now way back then, children didn’t hang stockings at Christmas. Instead they put out their shoes, in hopes that Santa would fill them with goodies. This year, young Wolff was hoping that Santa would give him a new scarf. His had holes in it and had unraveled. His ears froze on the walk to school and the wind sent chills down his spine. A new scarf, maybe Santa would bring him one. One particularly cold day, he was feeling brave and asked Aunt May. “A scarf? Do you know how much a scarf costs? Do you know how much money I have already spent taking care of you all these years. And how much did your parents leave for your care? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So what do I have for you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, you selfish child.”

Young Wolff hadn’t meant to upset her. He felt bad for the trouble he caused. But maybe Santa would bring him a scarf and his ears could be warm.

As the Christmas season approached, the schoolmeister announced a field trip. The class would walk to the nearby church for a special Christmas service. Young Wolff was so excited – he could hardly wait to hear the Christmas music and see the nativity scene. He had never been to a Christmas service before. Aunt May didn’t want anything to do with church or God or Christmas or any of it.

As the time came for the service, the boys all lined up and had on their big coats and warm scarves and gloves. They were bundled from head to toe for the walk to the church. Young Wolff had on his same clothes and the coat he outgrew two years ago, the unraveling scarf that didn’t do its job and no gloves. He knew he was going to be cold, but it’s all he had. It didn’t matter though to him. Nothing could dampen his joy at getting to go, not Aunt May, not the boys in his class, not anyone.

The music was even more beautiful than he had imagined it. And the story of Jesus’ birth, it mesmerized the young Wolff. He couldn’t stop thinking about this young baby in a manger and how cold he must have been. “Was this baby really God?” As they left the church, they stopped by the nativity. And here the story came even more to life.

His daydreams came to a quick halt when he heard his classmates laughing and turned to see what was going on. He saw them teasing a young boy, not more than 5, that was out alone in the cold. It didn’t take long to see this boy was far from home and had no food, no money, no clothes. Feeling sorry for the boy, he told his classmates to leave him alone. He smiled and the boy smiled back. A friendly face. But the boy had to be cold. Young Wolff took off his coat and gave it to the boy. He knew Aunt May would be furious, but he couldn’t leave him like that. Maybe Santa would bring him a scarf too, maybe. But wait, he doesn’t have a shoe to put out. “How can Santa give him a scarf without a shoe?” So young Wolff took off his right shoe, too. He just had to give it to the boy. That way, Santa could bring him good gifts too, and he needed it more than I did, said Wolff.

Wolff walked back home, hobbling on one foot, shivering without a good scarf and now without a coat. Aunt May saw him out the window and opened the door quick. “What have you done, stupid boy? Where is your coat and where is your shoe? Get in here by the fire before you die and I have to pay for your funeral too.” Young Wolff was so grateful to warm himself by the fire he didn’t mind the yelling. And he couldn’t lie. He told Aunt May the truth and prepared to take his beating. And it surely came. He cried himself to sleep that night with bruises on his backside and in his heart.

At least he had remembered to set out the shoe. Santa was probably mad at him too, but he had to take a chance. Surprisingly Aunt May left it out too. She had told him Santa would come and fill it with coal.

The next morning, though, the bitterness of the night dampened by a good night’s sleep, the boy got up and snuck downstairs, anxious to see if Santa had answered his request. He could hardly believe his eyes – there by the fireplace were both of his shoes, a new warm coat and a scarf and some candy too. There were gifts all around, more than he had ever seen, some gloves and some marbles and several other games.

Aunt May got up, hearing the commotion, and wondered out front. She stood there confused by the gifts galore. “What on earth? Who paid for all this?” Young Wolff exclaimed – It’s from Santa. I knew he would come through.

As they wondered to town, they heard rumors all around, of boys who had nothing in their shoes but coal or sand.
They wondered back to the church where young Wolff had been the night before. The priest was out front and asked him what he had found. “You won’t believe it, sir, Santa brought me all these gifts – a coat and a scarf and candy, going down the list.” This is the best Christmas ever.

The priest winked and said, “You know my child, I saw you last night, give all you had. I saw you reach out and love in way not many do. Your classmates only laughed but you saw and you cared. You gave a smile, a coat and much more. The gifts you found are not from Santa, dear one, they are gifts from the One you reached out and touched. They are gifts not from Santa for those who are good, they are the good gifts from the One sent to love from above.”


I first shared this version of this Christmas story at Baylor Orator Toastmasters as part of the advanced manual on storytelling. For more information on Toastmasters, visit the Baylor Orators website.

Seeking a Heart Like His - Through Waiting

For those of you who don’t know, I am currently doing a Beth Moore Bible study on David. This study is so rich and has prompted my thinking in so many ways about what it meant for David to be a man after God’s own heart and what it means to me to be a woman after God’s own heart.

What must it be like to have a clear sense of where God is calling you and who he is calling you to be, only to be told, not yet? That is where David finds himself in this week’s passage (1 Samuel 21 - 24). He has been anointed as king-to-be (ch 16). He has won a great victory over Goliath (ch 17). He has become famous throughout Israel, married the king’s daughter, taken on a prestigious position in the king’s court (ch 18). It looks like this is going to happen, that he is going to be king and the pieces are all coming together. But they aren’t. He has made this great climb up the ladder from unknown shepherd to famous warrior, but Saul is still king. Instead of preparing his future successor, Saul is trying to kill David. Instead of learning the ropes and building his future administration, David is running for his life and hiding in caves, leaving his family and friends behind, seeking refuge in enemy territory, crying out to God for help (ch 21-24).

So close, and yet so far away. And yet, David doesn’t rush God. As Saul is tracking David down, David even has the chance to take Saul’s life – to hurry things along, to speed up this process. But he doesn’t. David couldn’t have taken a shortcut to the throne. His men urged him on, and yet, David is resolute. David chooses to wait on the Lord – “Who am I to raise a hand against the Lord’s anointed?”

Wow! I wish I could rest in God like that. I am queen of second-guessing. Even when I feel like I have clear direction from God, I get anxious in the waiting wondering if I am doing enough, wondering what I need to do, wondering when things are going to fall into place. I still feel somehow it is up to me, even when it clearly is not. God is sovereign. He is the one that calls us, equips us, and uses us. He is the one that works all things out for good to those that love Him and are called to His purposes (Romans 8:28). That doesn’t always happen on our timetables, but we can rest in the waiting, knowing He is at work.

I can’t help but think of the song, “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller. Hopefully it will encourage you as much as it has encouraged me during those times of waiting.

“I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
YES, I WILL WAIT…” [emphasis mine]

Seeking a Heart Like His - Through Prayer

For those of you who don’t know, I am currently doing a Beth Moore Bible study on David. This study is so rich and has prompted my thinking in so many ways about what it meant for David to be a man after God’s own heart and what it means to me to be a woman after God’s own heart.

Today’s passage (1 Samuel 22: 1-5) finds David running for his life from King Saul. David ends up in a dark and lonely cave. While there, David pours out his heart to God. His words are recorded in Psalm 142. Listen to some of his authentic prayer:

“I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him; before Him, I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way… I cry to you, O Lord, I say, You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living. Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me” (Psalm 142:1-3a, 5-6).

David here is young and afraid, leaving home behind, surrounded by discontents and people with their own problems. David appears to be at his wit’s end, maybe literally (see 1 Sam 21). But it is here that he opens his soul up to God, that he prays for refuge and safety, for a sense of God’s presence with him.

I love that we can come to God authentically like that, when we don’t know the answers, when we don’t know what to do, when we are weak and afraid and struggling to make sense of God’s will for our lives. David has been anointed king. He could never have imagined that great call would start out by running for his life from the existing king. He doesn’t know how God is going to work. He doesn’t know what is going to happen. So he does the only thing he knows to do – seek God. In 1 Samuel 22:3, David says that he needs to learn what God will do on his behalf.

Lately, in particular, I have been burdened so much for my grandmother and my family, hurting for them and with them, as my grandmother’s health deteriorates. It is physically and emotionally exhausting for all of us, even for me being far away. But Sunday as I came back in from church, I just sat down and prayed and poured my heart to God. Like David, I had felt completely overwhelmed, in need of refuge and peace.

It was so wonderful to be able to come before my Father, to let Him know my cares, to give Him my hurts and my fears, the questions and the anxiety. And as I laid it down at His feet, I sensed His presence and His peace all over again. I was reminded of His great love for us and His great provision. You see, He cares. In the midst of whatever is going on in our lives, He cares. He is Emmanuel, “God with us” – He knows our tears and our fears, our desires and our hopes. And He walks through it all with us.

I can't help but think that it in times like those, when we come to Him just as we are, seeking refuge in Him, that He reveals more of His heart to us, and more of His heart with us.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” - 1 Peter 5:7

“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30