Mother in Laws & Religion

Chapter 1 of the Ruth Saga continues... Today, we read about Naomi asking Ruth & Orpah, her two widowed daughter in laws, to return and go back to Moab. Indulge me in a picture of how this scene may have transpired, in a completely fictionalized scenario. We don’t know much about what actually happened from scripture, but just imagine what it might look like today. Imagine…

Imagine getting married to someone of a different faith, knowing the parents likely will not approve. (The Moabites were enemies of the Israelites… A Moabite probably was not the spouse Naomi wished for either of her sons.) Imagine getting married anyway and just learning to deal with the topic of religion when it comes up with his family. Maybe it’s just easier to pretend to believe the same things, to worship the same God, to silence the talk of all those “differences.” Or maybe you and your spouse compromise – choose to worship together, one week with his God, the other week with your gods. Maybe you enjoy learning more about his religion, his beliefs, his people, their culture, their faith. Maybe it’s intriguing, even if it is different from the ways you were taught, the gods that you serve, the beliefs of your people. Or maybe you just want your mother-in-law to stop holding your faith against you. Maybe you just want to get along and not replay the same faith argument over and over.

Imagine, now, that it’s several years after you got married. Your father-in-law dies, and then you husband dies. You still have a relationship with your mother-in-law, but now it’s not the same. You are both grieving. You both are facing lonely and impoverished lives as heir-less widows. But now, you don’t have to get along. You don’t have to pretend anymore to like her faith or her people, her culture. Your husband isn’t there to urge the two of you to play nice and get along. He isn’t there to mitigate the faith conversation and now you don’t have to care or explain or bother with the differences. Now you are free to worship as you please. And, your mother-in-law is preparing to return to her country. You start to go along, because you think you should. You don’t want to leave her and hear her complain again about how horrible her life is and how she has been abandoned by everyone, even God, and now even you. You just aren’t in the mood to hear her complain, so you take the path of least resistance which is to just join her. You might stay for awhile and then come up with an excuse later or a family “emergency” to turn back.

And then, wonder of all wonders, your mother-in-law gives you a way out. She brings up going back. She urges you to go back. It catches you off guard. You can’t believe she is being this nice, that she understands, that she gets it. She does see that all your hopes of getting remarried lie in your hometown, not in her land, with her people. Ah, this is the best gift she could give you, a guilt-free option to return home….

Now I realize this is a fictionalized account based on my imagination of this scene. But doesn’t it put this story in perspective a little bit? Could you imagine being in an inter-faith marriage, a marriage attached with a great deal of stigma, and then choosing to return with your mother-in-law?

It really defies reason. I completely understand Orpah turning back in the story (Ruth 1:14). But, Ruth stays. Three times, Naomi gives her a way out, and three times Ruth chooses to stay. Why? In verse 15 Naomi makes her final plea, “Look, your sister in law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her” (v15). Now, don’t you think this is typical mother-in-law behavior, bringing up the touchy subject of religion here? In our fictionalized account, this is your mother in law saying, I am on to you. You don’t have to pretend anymore to like my God. I know you were playing nice for your husband’s sake. I’m not going to try to win you over anymore to our beliefs. You are free to worship as you choose. Let’s not fight anymore and just go our separate ways.

So, here is the amazing part – Ruth wasn’t pretending. Somewhere along the way, her beliefs changed. Somewhere along the way, she turns her back on her culture and her people in lieu of something better. She boldly professes to Naomi – No, “Your people will be my people and your God, my God” (v16). Why? She worshipped many gods. She could have just added the God of Israel as one of her many gods. She could have went with Naomi without converting to her faith – after all, she had lived as a Moabite for years without converting to her husband’s faith.

Why? I am left wondering the why. I don’t have the clear answer from scripture, but speculating again, I suspect that something got her attention. Maybe she had heard of God’s blessing on the Israelites and His covenant with them. Maybe she had heard rumors of the Promised Land. In her statement to Naomi, though, she personalizes God, my God. So I think she had experienced Him personally in some way, through her relationship with her husband or Naomi. I suspect their love for her echoed God’s love. I imagine she saw something in them, even through the family tragedies that spoke of a peace or comfort that her gods couldn’t provide. Maybe they left her craving to know more and willing to continue on the journey with her mother-in-law, willing to choose to follow this other God and experience Him for herself.

As I ponder this story, I am left with some haunting questions, and I pose them to you as well – Do we echo God’s love for others? Is there something about our lives that leaves others craving to know God more? Are there times we go through the motions with faith, pretending to go along with the beliefs of others or unsure of what we believe? Or do we personalize our relationship with Him and choose Him over all the other false gods and distractions around?
Thank you for reading and for sharing this part of Ruth’s journey with me. Stay tuned for more, the saga is just beginning.

Eden - The Center of God's Will

The Garden of Eden - a place created especially for Adam & Eve, a place of indescribable beauty and unmistakable pleasure – Here, Adam & Eve were free to enjoy the best of God’s creation under His provision and protection. This was paradise created by God for them, out of His good will and for His good pleasure. When he saw that it was not good for man to be alone, He created woman (Genesis 2: 18). The garden was full of trees that were “pleasing to the eye and good for food” (2:9). In every sense, He wanted the very best for them and for us.

Sometimes we think that God’s will is this scary place, somewhere to be dreaded and feared, somewhere horrible where God might call us to go, or that He wants something bad for us, that He is someone who wants to take away our freedom or that He is unreasonable and unjust. But that’s not the truth of scripture. Here, from the very beginning, God creates beauty and goodness for His children. He wanted them to enjoy the abundance of life and to have an incredibly intimate and beautiful relationship with Him.

The goodness of these plans is echoed in Jeremiah. Even while proclaiming the coming judgment and exile of the Israelites, even when bad days were coming, God reminds them that He is working for their ultimate good. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). And indeed Jesus comes (God Himself) and proclaims, “I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).

With those assurances that God cares and is working for my good and for our good, we don’t have to be afraid of His will. We don’t have to wonder if God is out to get us or to make us miserable. He’s not. He takes delight in us, and He wants the very best for us. That doesn’t mean that He caters to our desires, or is our genie in a bottle to grant our wishes. It means He is a loving Father that sees the bigger picture, that gives us boundaries to protect us from harm, instructs us in the ways that we should go, so that we will have a good and abundant life in Him, that we can enjoy the richness and intimacy of a relationship with Him.

At times, we question that goodness, particularly when God allows pain and suffering to come into our lives, or when His will seems the opposite of our desires. But James tells us that God even uses the trials of this life to work for our good. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1: 4). Paul iterates the same point in Romans – “And we know that in all things (even the bad things) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Even in the face of evil, God works for good. What others mean for harm, God uses for good (Genesis 50:20). Even when we can’t see it or don’t understand it, the truth remains, God is good and we can trust that His will for us is good. “His ways are higher than our ways” (Isaiah 55: 8-9). When we follow, He leads us to green pastures and still waters; He restores our souls (Psalm 23: 2-3).

The Garden of Eden, then, is a picture of God’s great goodness, the richness and pleasure of a Father pouring out His blessing on His children, unhindered by sin and with complete and wonderful fellowship with God. What an image of what it looks like to be in the center of God’s will! That, my friends, is where I want to be. Don’t you?


Note: This reflection was prompted by Dr Mike Toby's sermon series on Genesis at First Baptist Church Woodway. To download sermons, visit the church website: http://www.fbcwoodway.org/resources/sermons/.

Facing the Famine

I started a new Bible study this week on Ruth. There was something appealing about taking a new look at the woman who left family, friends, and home behind to follow God, not really knowing what was ahead. Maybe it just sounded familiar to me, and I maybe I just craved the ending of the story where it turns out she is exactly where she is supposed to be. Maybe, just maybe I needed that reassurance myself, to be reminded that God provides and restores and that He has a good ending in store.

The story of week one & chapter one, though, starts not with Ruth but with Naomi and starts not with hope or redemption but with famine, with the land of God’s promise and provision being replaced with a dry & thirsty land. Of course, the Promised Land had never stopped being the land of promise. God was always there and always calling His people back to Himself. But they had turned their backs on Him. Seeing only the famine and not seeing God’s promises, Naomi and her husband and their two sons pack up and move. They leave town, leave the Promised Land in search of food.

God is Jehovah-Jirah, the God who provides, but He allows the famines to come. The physical famine in Egypt that brought Joseph’s brothers there (Genesis 41 & 42), the wilderness where the Israelites lived only off quail & manna (Exodus 16), the barrenness of Hannah who desperately wanted a child (1 Samuel 1), the tremendous loss in Job’s life (Job 1 & 2), the widow’s last bit of flour and oil (1 Kings 17) – scripture is full of famines, physical, emotional, and spiritual. The famines come, times when we feel that God is distant and far away, times when we question if He has forgotten us or forsaken us, times when we don’t know what is next, when it looks and feels like the barrel is running dry.

It’s a scary place to be. I would like to be like Job who responded so gracefully, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). Instead, my tendency is like Naomi and her husband’s response – let me go looking for some food, let me go searching for where God is and let me go make things happen. I like to make things happen. I am not one to whine about my circumstances. I like to fix things, to fix people, to step in and change things. It goes against my nature during a famine to “Be still and know that [He is] God” (Psalm 46:10).

For Naomi, things just got worse. Now, she is in a distant land, her husband dies, and then later her two sons die – a famine of an entirely different kind. Now, she is alone and bitter.

I’ve been in a famine. I need to admit that, really even before I moved to Texas. It sounds crazy to say that because my life has been incredibly blessed. It’s been rough, though, barren in some ways. In some ways, Texas was relief from some of that famine – relief from financial struggles and work issues. But in some ways, it led to a different kind of famine – isolation from family and friends, a lack of purpose and ministry. I left behind so much that was good in my life, people that I care about, a church and a community that felt like home. And sometimes, every once in awhile, I feel a little like Naomi – alone in a distant land and bordering on bitterness. It’s not a good place to be.

But… and I love BUTs here. But, Naomi remembers God, remembers His promises and His provision. God didn’t change. He hadn’t gone anywhere, but Naomi had gotten sidetracked by life, by the famine, by her circumstances. Then, though, she hears about God’s provision in Judah. She hears from folks at home that the famine is over, that God is providing, that there is food to eat. And immediately, she wants to be there. She wants to be back in the Promised Land and she immediately makes preparations for the journey. She remembers. She remembers (I’m imagining here) what it was like to experience God’s blessings and to live in the land flowing with milk and honey. She remembers what it felt like to be home, and she started craving it.

I fully believe one reason that God allows famines in our lives is to lead us to the place where we crave Him, where we crave His presence and His provision in our lives. Sometimes we can fill our lives with so much junk and so many distractions, and He wants us to fill our lives with Him, with His spirit, with His love. That’s what I am craving. I want more of Him and less of me. I want to be in the land of His promise and provision. I want to sense His presence and to know that I am where He has called me to be. He is the Living Water (John 4), and the One who provides a well in the desert (Genesis 21), a well that will never run dry.

The famines come, but I am so glad they are not the end of the story. In fact, the famine is only the beginning. And although Naomi returns home bitter and barren, God isn’t done with her. She is where God wants her to be and He is about to do an amazing work in her life.

Hmmm… I knew I would enjoy the story of Ruth and this Bible study. It’s definitely a message I needed to hear and needed to share. Stay tuned for more, or read ahead yourself, Ruth 1-4.

Overcoming the Pressure to Perform

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been working on a big project at work. It’s been one of my first big projects at my new job. Being a new girl, I want to impress people and to prove myself. I feel like people are watching me to see how I respond, and it is so easy to get caught up in trying to make a name for myself, not wanting to disappoint anyone and wanting to excel at my new job.
For the last couple of weeks, I have found myself feeling the pressure to perform, spending huge amounts of time on the project, working late, and starting to worrying about it. I’m usually good at leaving work at work when I go home each day, but this project started to dominate my thoughts and drain my energy,

A little over a week ago, I went to visit some of my campus partners that I am working with on this project, part of my dream team. I was flustered and chaotic, starting to freak out about everything on the to-do list and all the loose ends that had to get done. Yet, they were calm. They didn’t seem flustered. And they had much more on their plate than I had on mine. It prompted my thinking and helped me put this project back into perspective.

And then I read this book, Golf’s Sacred Journey by David Cook. I am not a golfer, and I had plans to give the book to a friend of mine. I picked it up just thinking I would give it a quick glance; I didn’t put it back down. This book was just what I needed, when I needed it. It went straight to the heart of what I had been struggling with – this pressure to perform, the fear of failure, the lack of balance and rhythm than was missing.  It reminded me to look at the bigger picture, the larger perspective of my life beyond this project and even this job. My life the last couple of weeks has been out of kilter because I had started focusing so much on this project, that I started neglecting the other good things in my life. I started valuing the opportunity to impress and make my mark instead of going about my business quietly and diligently (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12).

Yesterday, I finished reading the book, and I took some time to really ponder its message. Then I thought again about the project, a project that is outside the normal scope of my job description, a project that is outside my realm of expertise, a project that I care deeply about but not one that is directly related to my sense of calling and my particular gifts. It seems strange that I started wanting people to weigh me by this project, or that this project would somehow define me.

So I decided to relax, to take off the burden of the expectations, to do my best but to leave the anxiety behind. And I went to work, three days before the project launches, in the midst of chaos and loose ends and details to be worked out. But this time, that chaos didn’t characterize me. I had found my balance and rhythm again. I had gleaned new perspective, and I had found that peace and contentment that had been missing. I remembered that my identity is wrapped up in Christ alone. And strangely, this huge burden started to seem more like a small project, a blip on the radar screen that will all too quickly fade away.

I highly recommend the book. Even more so, I highly recommend finding that balance and rhythm in a life centered in Christ. There is no better place to be. He beckons - “Come unto me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV).

Those words are good news for my week and for my soul!

The Beauty of Suffering

Lately, I have been contemplating suffering, particularly as my grandmother has gotten weaker and weaker and has been on the brink of death. It has been hard to hear her talk about being in pain, to hear of her bad days, to sense her suffering. When I went home at the beginning of the month, she was saying her goodbyes. She is wrapping up her time here on earth and preparing to go Home. My grandmother is one of the most loving and joyful people I know. There is a beauty about her spirit that just radiates love and laughter and joy. I don’t know how else to describe it. I’ve sensed that spirit about her for a long time. Over these last few weeks though it has become even more evident, something about the suffering that she is going through and the peace that she has in the midst of it is… is touching and fragrant and beautiful.  Her suffering isn’t beautiful. It’s incredibly hard at times to see her in pain and to not be able to make it better. But her suffering makes her peace even more striking, more radiant.

At church this morning, we studied the letter to the church in Smyrna (Revelation 2: 8-11). I tend to think of Revelation as this mysterious book that raises more questions than it provides answers. There is so much I don’t understand. I don’t really think of it as applying to my life, here and now. But today was different. This passage was different. It spoke right to the heart of my ponderings on suffering.  

The church in Smyrna was hard-pressed and facing all kinds of trials. They were poor; they were being persecuted by the Jews; they were falsely accused and slandered by the public; they were labeled atheists (???) because they didn’t participate in the emperor worship that was prevalent. They were suffering - physically, financially, and probably emotionally. I can imagine they were probably feeling beat down by their circumstances, frustrated and discouraged.  

Even though I have never faced that kind of persecution, I can certainly relate to those feelings of discouragement and even despair at times; I think we all can. We can find ourselves seemingly beat down by  life, wanting things to get better and looking for hope. That is what makes Jesus’ words to them stick out to me. They needed encouragement and His words spoke right to the heart of the matter.

Jesus says to this suffering church, the people right in the mix of very real trials and tribulation, “I know your afflictions and your poverty” (v 9). He says he knows the tough times they are going through. He notices. He sees. And not only that, He cares. 1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your cares upon Him, because He cares for you” (emphasis added). How wonderful it is that He knows our troubles, He feels our pain, He cares when we hurt! He goes on to say to them, don’t be afraid, the suffering will be intense but it won’t last forever (v 10). He then encourages them to be faithful, to continue to stand firm (v 10). He reminded them of His faithfulness and that He had already claimed the victory. He is the one who died and is now alive again. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last (v 8). He is the one that has been there from the beginning and is there now and will be there forever. What a tremendous promise, particularly when we feel alone and discouraged!

What an incredible message! Here were a people feeling beat up by life, by the world around them. And Jesus encourages them. And He encourages them as one who has been there in the midst of suffering. “And because He himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted” (Hebrews 2:18). “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses…” (Hebrews 4:15).

So why does God allow suffering? Why not deliver us? Why doesn’t Jesus just rescue the church in Smyrna? Why doesn’t He rescue us from the hard times? Why does my grandmother have to continue to suffer? Why doesn’t He just give us the answers we are looking for?

“…now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1Peter 1:6-7)

God is not calloused. He cares for us deeply. In fact, He is using the suffering and the trials in our lives for our good. He refines us like gold, to strengthen our faith, and to reveal His glory. Smyrna is also the Greek word for myrrh, the fragrant oil used for burial. The oil comes from a bark that is hard-pressed. As the bark is pressed (similar to grapes in a winepress), the fragrant oil is released. Sometimes, the hard times are what God uses to bring out the valuable fragrance in us, the fragrant aroma that bears fruit in our lives.

The fact that something beautiful and fragrant can come from suffering blows my mind, that God can use it for a greater purpose and He can be glorified in it. Then I think about the tough times in my life, and I think about the fruit that came out of those times – new love and compassion for others, new dependence on Christ, new maturity and lessons learned through the pain. As I look back now, I see the ways He redeemed the pain and the heartache, the ways He worked for good. The beauty is not the suffering but rather the beauty of God’s hand at work in the midst of it.

Please continue to pray for my grandmother and my family. Pray also for those who currently feel beat down by life, in the midst of the trials. I know several of my friends are going through difficult times. It's so hard to see the people we care about suffer. Pray also for those facing severe persecution, like the church in Smyrna. Their suffering makes the daily challenges of my life seem trivial and selfish.