131 Days to 13.1

September 25th, I start a new journey, one that will take me 131 days to complete. I begin intensive training for my first half-marathon, 13.1 miles. I will be running the Myrtle Beach Half-Marathon on February 19, 2011. It is an intimidating goal. My longest race so far has been a measly 5 miles. 13.1 seems overwhelming and intimidating, daunting.

Why run? As I sacrifice my opportunity to sleep late on Saturdays and commit to workouts three times a week, I sometimes wonder myself.  I enjoy it. It is a stress reliever. It is good conversation time with other runners. But what drives me to sacrifice my time and my energy? What greater need does it fulfill in my life?

For me, the answer comes from the discipline of training. What I learn about myself from running is the importance of submitting to a knowledgeable coach, the necessity of constant practice, the commitment to overcome hardship & injury, and the challenge to succeed each time with my personal best. There is not much that can compare with the thrill of crossing the finish line and seeing my efforts pay off in doing something I wasn't sure that I could do.

I ran my first 5K last year. And as I look back on that experience now, I see how much I was able to accomplish in such little time. I went from not running at all to running 4.5 miles consistently in 12 weeks. I remember thinking what if I could apply this training, this purpose, this discipline to other areas of my life.

For me, that's what drives me to run, being able to see the metaphor of running play out in my everyday life. Everything that I learn from the training helps me develop that mindset of discipline, commitment, and excellence. I think of 1 Timothy 4:7-8 in the Bible which says, "Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness had value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come" (NIV).

Through this blog, I hope to share my journey with you, the physical training and the spiritual discipline. I'll share reflections along the way and invite you to join in the conversation. Hopefully it will inspire you to run your race well, whatever race that may be.

I look forward to seeing you at the finish line. Let the training begin!

Heart & Sole

Almost a month ago to the day, I hurt my ankle. I ended up missing over three weeks of training for the Heart & Sole 5 miler, a race that I had been talking about since the fall. As I started running again last week, I really thought it was too late, that I had missed too much time to be able to run and finish. I was planning on sitting it out and just waiting until the next 5k. My Fleet Feet running mates encouraged me to come out and do it, though, to take it easy and just do the best I could. I was scared of disappointing myself or re-injuring my ankle, but I decided to give it a try anyway.


And so this morning I ran the race. And I ran it, all of it, the longest run I have completed in over a month. Although there are other races that I have completed with faster times, as I crossed the finish line today, I thought about how much more special this one is, especially after overcoming the injury and overcoming some serious self-doubt. It was sweet to complete it, so sweet.

As I came home and started thinking about the experience, I am just reminded again of how much running for me is a metaphor for life. I was thinking about how God has set a course for us to run, and He sent His Son to make us eligible for the race. As we start out on the journey, there is much celebrating and festivity. As we continue on the course, though, there are some tough spots, where the sun is beating down and steep hills (like Gervais St) discourage us. There are times we are offered detours along the way (Three mile walkers, turn left here) and have to decide if we are going to stay the course or not.
 
Each time, though, when I thought I couldn't go anymore, right then, it seemed like there was a water stop, a time to pause and replenish and soak in the mist (a time of revival and restoration). There were volunteers along the course (church family), cheering me on, cheering us on. Seeing their energy and sensing their encouragement gave me fuel to keep going. About mile marker three, there was a section of the course where you could see the ones who were far ahead (mature Christians). As they passed by, they had words of encouragement too. That encouragement meant the most - seeing the ones that were further along the course, the ones who had gone before us, the ones who knew the way and had travelled the path before.
 
All the while we are running, we have to keep our focus on the finish line, and the one there to meet us. Today it was a guy with a bucket of roses... in the future, it will be the One ready to welcome us home, the author and perfecter of our faith, the One who go befores us, the One who goes with us, the One who keeps us on course for His best and for ours.
 
I did not set a personal record today... but I did something even more special. I showed myself what Heart and Soul are really all about - committing to run the race Christ has set before us and sharing that journey with others, being encouraged by them when we are weak, and encouraging others when we are strong.

(Untitled)

penned up inside
refused voice
refused ink
destined to be felt deeply
to serve purpose
to remind
to hurt
to ache endlessly
to love truly
to keep alive
the feeling -
    and yet, still words.

~erin, 1996

The Whole of My Sin

In a hole to start with,
trying to escape -
keep digging, digging, digging
only deeper and deeper I go.

One-time feeling evolves into state of mind
Can't get out, trapped in it's grasp;
let go, let go, got to get out.

Can't be done, in too deep
no visible answer, no ladder around

As giving up Hope and Fate to give in,
Sudden release, Savior indeed;
freedom at last from the hole of my sin.

~erin, 1994

Destination: GOD'S WILL

For the new year, I am not beginning a new journey, but rather continuing an old one. I am once again in search of God’s Will for my life…

Sometimes I picture arriving at my destination as arriving to a new town – perhaps, God’s Will, South Carolina, population 828. I occasionally pass a couple of signs that say God’s Will, stay right, or Expressway to God’s Purposes, 25 miles ahead. I have run into some construction zones– new character development in progress, detour 2 years, or passageway to Humility (a necessary rest stop) temporarily blocked by pride. Sometimes I have chosen to take the path of Forgiveness or Love and it brings me closer; other times I opt to bypass Patience (rumored to be a long but direct route) and end up further away. A path called Prayer seems to illuminate the often dark roads, helping me to see the next steps; even more clarity comes from travelling the way of the Word.

Sometimes, though, the destination seems illusive, just a little out of reach. Maybe I’m close, maybe I’m already there, maybe I still have a ways to travel. I can’t really tell. Each step in Faith, though, encourages me to continue the journey. And then as I keep asking, searching, and waiting, I realize what my Guide has been trying to tell me all along – God’s Will does not have a zip code. There is no X marking the spot on my treasure map. Rather, God’s Will is found in trusting my Guide, obeying His clear direction even when I can’t see the path ahead. Sometimes there is a clear right direction that He wants to lead me in. Other times He wants me to just stay with Him, to walk with Him, wherever the path leads - through good times or bad, through understanding or confusion, through joy or pain.

I realize that part of God’s Will is relationship and fellowship, being instead of doing, following instead of leading. That’s a rather new journey for me, one that is a little different from my past attempts to get to God’s Will by deciphering the map myself. In some ways, it is harder because I have to realize I don’t have the map. My Guide does. That journey is much newer to me, handing over control to Him, trusting Him every step of the way.

As I ponder the route to God’s Will, I found the following passages helpful. Perhaps they will help you as well:

• Knowing in part – I Corinthians 13:12
• Pre-requisite – Romans 12:1-2
• Clear direction – 1 Thessalonians 4:3
• Straight paths – Proverbs 3:5-6
• Praying for God’s Will – Colossians 1:9-10
• Praying for God’s Will – Matthew 6:10
• God’s Purpose – Philippians 2:13
• Understanding – Ephesians 5:17
• Desire to do God’s Will – Psalm 40:8
• Training required – Psalm 143:10
• My Guide – Psalm 25:4-5
• My Guide – Psalm 73:23-24
• Clear Direction – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18